Would you benefit from identifying some “not-to’dos” to propel you to success more quickly and with less energy and less effort? When we strategize for success, we typically focus on the things we will do and the steps we will take to reach success. Without a doubt, that is an excellent strategy. However, there may be things getting in the way of your success that are holding you back from achieving the results you most want. Perhaps it would be helpful to make a “not-to-do" list to help you change some of your old worn out habits that no longer serve you.
When I began my coaching career, I studied great coaches to learn how they worked with their clients. My first role model was Cheryl Richardson, best-selling author and Life Makeover Coach who was featured on Oprah. I would listen to recordings of her programs, read her books and do my best to pattern my coaching after her style. Invariably, I would fall short of being able to coach in the seemingly “perfect" way that Cheryl did. After presenting a program or working with a client, I would compare the worst aspects of my performance to the best of Cheryl's which always left me feeling less than adequate and frustrated with myself.
In my comparison, I neglected to include important information such as the fact that I was new to coaching and Cheryl had been at it for several years, and that she had once been a new coach who had not started out as polished as she had become after years of experience. I only saw my shortcomings in comparison to her brilliance. Once I decided to stop the self sabotage and quit comparing myself to Cheryl, I was able to relax and coach with confidence. Without the pressure that I had created to “be like Cheryl, " I was able to be my best which was more than enough.
What needs to go on your “not-to-do" list in order to reach your goals for 2007? Maybe you are like I was and need to stop comparing yourself to someone else? Or, do you need to stop scheduling too many activities? Stop trying to do everything on your own without asking for help? Stop trying to be perfect? What will you put on your “not-to-do" list so that you can achieve success this year?
Ideas for your “not-to-do" list
1. Stop comparing your worst to someone else's best. Comparing yourself to someone else is a recipe for disappointment. It is especially frustrating when you try to size up your performance, or your appearance, or some other quality to a super model, an Olympic athlete or your brother or sister who always outshined you. Give yourself a break and appreciate that you are more than enough just as you are. It is better to be the best version of yourself than to torture yourself with unrealistic comparisons to others.
2. Stop waiting for someone else to make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. You are in charge of your life and of your happiness. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. " Decide that you will create your own happiness rather than expect it from someone or something else. Take responsibility for doing things that bring you joy.
3. Stop focusing on what you don't have. Rather than focus on not having enough time, enough money, enough energy or enough help, etc. focus on what you do have and be grateful that you have it. Watch your world begin to change in a positive way as you let go of limiting thoughts of what you don't have and express gratitude for what you do have.
"Self-sabotage is the worst deterrent to your best performance. " Coach Pat Morgan
Pat Morgan, MBA and Executive Coach, helps clients maximize their potential in today’s fast-paced environment. Her unique coaching programs inspire clients to achieve goals they may never have thought possible. Get your free copy of my special report, GET RESULTS NOW! when you subscribe to my newsletter, Smooth Sailing Success.