After all, people can tell when something isn’t right. You may think you're hiding your anger, but it’ll eventually find a way to come out—either in voice tone, body language or attitudes. Some people use the cold-shoulder mask. When someone makes them angry, they may say they’ve forgiven them, but they become cold, showing no warmth or emotion in dealing with that individual. These people live a lonely existence. Because they’re so afraid of being hurt, they avoid close, meaningful relationships. This is a classic example of “choosing your pain. " They’ll choose the pain of living an isolated, lonely life instead of working through the problem, determined to develop good friendships. Other people like to use the silent-treatment mask. They say they're not angry with you, yet they refuse to talk to you, or they only communicate when it’s absolutely necessary, usually with a grunt or nod. When people avoid being with, touching, or doing things for the person they're angry with, they're hiding behind a mask, which isn’t the answer.
FACE THE TRUTH. . . AND CHOOSE YOUR PAIN
If you want the great and mighty things God has for you, you must get to the root of anger and deal with it. Get rid of the masks and face the things that happened in your life that made you the way you are today. Admit that you can't change by yourself. Until the root is removed, it’ll continue to produce one bad fruit after another. Too often we spend our lives dealing with the bad fruit of our behavior, but we never dig deep enough to get to the root of the problem. Actually, when we're faced with anger, we must choose our pain. Digging deep to take care of the bad root is painful, but it’s the only lasting way to take care of the problem. We can either suffer positively, doing what’s right or we can go with the devil's plan. But remember, the same devil who tempts you to follow your human feelings will later condemn you for doing it. You must decide if you want the pain that will take you into a new realm of glory or to keep your same old pain and try to hide it while it's rotting inside you.
Peter tells us to be well-balanced and temperate, withstanding the devil at his onset (see 1 Peter 5:8,9). When you begin to feel anger, it's the perfect time to exercise the fruit of self-control. You may have a good reason to be angry, but don’t use it as an excuse to stay that way. Instead of denying or justifying it, ask God to help you deal with it in a positive way. Romans 12:21 gives good advice: Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good. When Satan attacks you, instead of getting mad, go bless someone. Responding in a positive way is the direct opposite of what the enemy wants you to do, defeating his plan to keep you upset. It doesn't come naturally, and it isn't always easy, but when we do what we can do, God will do what we can't do. Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
If we hang on to anger, we're just being foolish. We must turn the anger and the people who caused it over to God and let Him take care of it. . . . Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord (Romans 12:19). Trust God and He will take care of you and protect you. You can't change your past, but when you give it to God, He’ll use it to bring you a better future