How to Improve Your Personal Harmony - 5 Important Keys

Christopher Walker

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How comfortable are you? How harmonious are your relationships? Is there room for improvement?

This article will explain how to fix any disharmony you may feel in those areas.

To feel in harmony is to feel good, it’s natural, musical. Harmony is a synchronicity with the world around us. We are surrounded by the energies if life, they are the sounds, the voices, the feelings and the hum of the circumstance we are in. Your harmony with that environment is what causes or disturbs your comfort. Your personal harmony really describes the sum total of the thoughts, feelings, experiences you are having today.

Disharmony is not very pleasant. If one musical instrument in an orchestra is out of tune, there is disharmony and it grinds on our nerves. In a business, as a leader, your mission is to have everyone in harmony, at least for the hours they are performing your musical composition (your business).

In a relationships there is also the potential for harmony and disharmony. One feels good and the other, we want to run away and hide from. So, to achieve harmony with one person in a relationship of any sort is a great achievement. It is a natural experience of attraction. Disharmony, on the other hand makes us want to run, change, fix, adjust, alter, avoid, repel, criticize, judge, protect ourselves. So, you can see, the cost of disharmony in a relationship of any description is huge, it can end up running our whole life.

We come into the world in tune with nature, we begin with harmony. Children are in harmony with life in their early years and this continues until their identity takes over, and separates them from this natural state.

For most people achieving harmony in one area of life seems to compensate for the loss of it in another, but this is not a good conclusion. Some people are in harmony at work but not at home and this is very dangerous. We must recognize that work, relationship and self are not separable into “areas” of life. The idea of being in harmony at work, without being in harmony at home, with your environment, your relationship or yourself is dangerous. It is called, disease. Everything belongs to one harmony, your life, and being out in one area cannot be compensated by another. That idea is simply ridiculous.

When it comes to disharmony, nature is totally intolerant. She is a strict teacher and the disharmony of any one of her billions of elements is, without doubt important to fix. The sum of the parts add to create the whole. She conducts her orchestra with finite vigilance, every single cell, molecule, thought, is relevant. She doesn’t care which philosophy you choose or how many back bends you can do, she listens to your harmony. She is listening to your music, your mind, and when this music is fragmented or out of harmony, she reacts, acts, to correct it.

Disharmony attracts attention. Many people gravitate to disharmony because their personality needs attention. This is a game, that person is afraid of the inconsequentiality of their life. We are all quite irrelevant and powerless in natures plan and some people that know it, fear it.

Sustained disharmony is called calamity, disaster and humbling circumstance. All of life’s challenges can be explained as corrective action by mother nature. She is no watching you like an eagle, her music was written before you were born, the laws by which your music can be expressed have existed for billions of years. They are the rules of the real game of life. Individuality is the opposite.

How to be in harmony with all areas of your life.

1. Harmony is simple. Don’t over complicate it. If you simplify your whole life to a few fundamental principles, then harmony comes, automatically. For example; be kind, don’t be stressed, have compassion for others, don’t be angry, avoid jealousy, (not comprehensive). Beware of teachers, teachings, philosophies and therapies that promise you reward for being someone, doing something or acting somehow. It is the illusion of the masses to think that harmony is something we can achieve with complex subservience to a demigod or guru.

2. Learn to love. We have to learn to love people – not because of who they are – but in spite of who they are. In other words, the disharmony we experience in life and relationship is not caused by people who meet our expectations, it is caused by people who don’t meet our expectations. We must learn to deal with this, otherwise we are forever in reaction, playing the wrong tune.

3. You’ll need to re connect yourself. The child is innocent and in harmony because it has not yet developed a sense of personality, identity. Therefore, it begins life treating all things as one thing. When we take our individuality as important, we automatically say “me” and “you” or “it” and “me”. The more often you think or feel the word “I” the more individualized you are. In an orchestra “solo” performances are important breaks, but if that instrument remains separate it becomes sad, rejected, unwanted. Sometimes your “solo” is important. But really the other 99% of the time, you must learn to reconnect yourself to others and the environment around you. Identity is the barrier, ego is its messenger, beliefs are the cause. You’ll need to re experience the idea that how you treat others and nature is really how you treat yourself.

4. Desire is the highest poison. It kills all harmony. There are seven levels of desire and the lowest and most toxic is the “GOT TO” level of desire. This is desire in desperation. Got to have it, or them, or got to not have them or it. Extreme desire is the highest disharmony and blocks the music entirely. Desperate thinking achieves the end, and forgets the means. It’s like a man becoming wealthy at any cost – and not being able to experience the music.

There are seven levels of desire. They range from desperate at the lowest to inspired at the highest. All human beings are capable of achieving any of the seven levels of desire and therefore resonating at all the notes of the orchestra. In a pub in the wildest part of town, where desperate violent people hang out, there are the low notes, all in harmony. If someone who was inspired walked in, there could be disharmony.

Therefore, it is wise not to judge people because they play different notes than you. Be more like a piano which has keys from the lowest to the highest; learn to play your music depending on your circumstances. If you are a leader you might have to play a higher note than those around you. If you are a lover it might be wise to be slightly lower than your partner and if you are in a pub maybe its wise to be around the same space. Creating harmony means owning all of yourself. Accepting that you are, truly, everything you see.

5. Happiness. You will be happy when you are in harmony because there is no stress to cause you to be otherwise. Happiness means no stress, stress and happiness cannot co-exist, and that requires flexibility. This means the ability to adapt to circumstance, to let go, to participate but not be disturbed, to contribute without attachment. To be in relationship without power is to desire but not be hard headed or harsh. To work intensely but not be stressed or tired by it. To exercise but to enjoy the journey. Happiness is, without any shadow of doubt the key that brings us into harmony within ourselves, our business and our relationships.

The real cause of happiness

Real happiness cannot depend on having something, doing something, being someone. Depending on these things for happiness makes your happiness toxic. Happiness is at the core of our whole quest in life, and this is why it is the single greatest obsession of all humanity and therefore the cause of the most disturbance. All humanity searches for happiness and the products, wars, victories and drama of life are explained in this one single pursuit.

The road to Real Happiness for the majority of people is a journey of achievements and then inevitable disappointments. We achieve those things that promise to make us happier, but once we get them, new thoughts arise, we become comfortable with what we’ve got, and aspire to what we have not got. What makes us happy today will not necessarily make us happy tomorrow. This is why marketing guru’s re invent products, why people get the 7 year itch in relationships, why people get fat, lazy, depressed. The pursuit of happiness is the cause of our consumption and the reason that all things eventually cause disappointment. The promise of happiness can not be sustained.

Happiness is, without doubt the most delicate of balances between the desire for betterment and the naivety of consumerism. Two relationships don’t necessarily make you happier than one. Six ice creams don’t always make you six times happier than one. New clothes make you happy, but not for long.

Happiness, is, without any doubt the single most vulnerable area and a vital key to personal harmony. Yet, it is surprising that something so simple can be the cause of so much trouble, struggle, disappointment and complex theory.

The confusion comes because we think, in our early journey that someone, something, somehow we can actually become happy. This motivates us. But eventually we learn that the great secret of happiness is to stop wanting. The ultimate destination of all people who seek this “soul” deep happiness is, that it cannot come from something, or someone. Happiness truly comes from the opposite to all wanting. Contentment.

Real, sustainable, harmonious happiness comes from contentment. It is a completion, a sense of finality, a loss of appetite, a beautiful aura of comfort. A profound sense of unshakable confidence, a release from anxiety, a detachment from outcome, a harmony with something beyond the visible. This is the end of the path of self search; to discover, that happiness is already within us, if only we can stop wanting. Therefore, real harmony and happiness is built of a foundation of contentment, and contentment can only come when we stop wanting it.

Live with Spirit

Christopher Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit -


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