Letting go of a relationship is never easy. But you don't have to suffer for days, weeks, months or worse, years, when you're letting go of a relationship. You can let go quickly and move on to something better. Follow these three steps when you need to face letting go of a relationship.
1. As soon as the relationship ends, be grateful for the fact that you had the relationship in your life. The purpose of this step is to shift your energy and your focus. Pain comes from your thoughts. Change your thoughts, and you change the way you feel.
You can find gratitude for an ended relationship in two ways.
First, presumably any relationship you've been in (especially if you're having trouble letting go of it) brought you some gifts. You had something good come from your being in the relationship you're letting go. When you choose to focus on what was good, you shift your attention away from the loss of the relationship. You put your focus on the pleasure it has brought to your life.
Second, even if a relationship wasn't all good, it taught you something. When you really think about a relationship, you can find lessons that will help you live a better life.
Too often, we tend to blame relationship problems on the other person. But keep in mind the old adage that there's one thing in common in every relationship you have-that one thing is you. What did your last relationship teach you about yourself and how you live your life?
Looking for the lessons in an experience can help you realize the value of having had the experience. When you look at the value, the fact that the experience is over has no relevance.
2. Once you're clear on what gifts the relationship brought to you, stay in this feel good place by creating a vision of what you want in an ideal relationship.
Much of the pain of letting go of a relationship comes from a sense of being unable to have what you want. When you're hanging on to something you've lost, you feel like you are stuck in a situation you don't want and you'll always be stuck there.
You need to create in yourself an expectation, or better yet, a knowing that what you want in a relationship is not only possible but is on its way to you. The best way to do this is to create a relationship vision.
Creating a relationship vision has two parts.
First, write out a description of the kind of relationship you want. Describe the kind of things you'd like to do with the person you're with. Describe how you want to be treated. Describe the level of commitment you want and the level of intimacy.
Second, make a list of the qualities you'd like your mate to have. List all the inner qualities (like thoughtfulness, sexiness, kindness, etc. ) and the outer ones (if those are important to you). List what you'd like your mate to enjoy doing. List the way you want your mate to feel about you.
3. Now that you've created your vision, it's time to use it.
Every time you find yourself lingering on the bad feelings of loss over your ended relationship, close your eyes and create a mental movie of yourself in the ideal relationship you've described. Imagine yourself spending time with the person you've described in your list.
When you find yourself longing for the person who is no longer a part of your life or you find yourself thinking that you'll always be alone, go back to your vision and linger in it some more.
By following these three simple steps, you can turn letting go of a relationship an experience that will help you create a better life. You have the ability to have the true love experience you've always wanted when you take these steps to achieve a power perspective on letting go of a relationship.
Find out how to turn problems like letting go of a relationship into power. Get a free report on how to create outstanding results in your life at http://www.miseryslayer.com Ande Waggener, J. D. , is an author and a motivational speaker who shows people how to remove misery from their lives.