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Stress Management For Inner Peace-Three Choices For Loving Observation And Peace Of Mind

Ilenya Marrin

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Stress management can produce inner peace when you become a Neutral Loving Observer of the challenges in your life. (I coined the term Neutral Loving Observer during my doctoral research on spiritual intention. )

As a Neutral Loving Observer of stressful situations and life in general, you will gain clarity and objectivity. With clearer perception, you'll most likely see more choices and options for problem solving, which will help you reclaim your peace of mind.

Being a Neutral Loving Observer involves three simple choices that get easier with practice.

1. Choose to be neutral. Don't judge and criticize. Be objective, even scientific in your observing. Assess without taking inventory. Choose to remain unbiased as you observe. Neutrally observe yourself and others, your wins and losses, your failings and strengths with equal acceptance.

2. Choose to be loving with yourself and those around you. Cultivate compassion. See through eyes of love. Without the intention and attitude of loving, you can easily become critical, losing your neutrality and many of the key benefits of this practice. Loving is your foundation for acceptance, resilience, and optimism.

3. Choose to be an observer. Watch. Look at what is present and allow yourself to see it as it is. As an observer, you might cultivate lively curiosity about how various stressful events are playing out in your life. Watch the dynamics in action. Observe yourself and others.

In order to observe, you might have two “tracks" running in your mind. One track is of yourself participating in the action and decisions of life. The other track is your observer self, slightly removed from the action even while you participate.

When you are functioning as a Neutral Loving Observer, you are balanced, peaceful, compassionate, calm and unshaken, even while things around you are shaking.

You might feel shaken as you participate in very stressful circumstances, yet the Neutral Loving Observer aspect of yourself can continue to observe from your center of peace.

As a participant in stressful situations, you will probably be able to relax and shift to a peaceful center more quickly because of practice as a Neutral Loving Observer.

With persistence as a Neutral Loving Observer, you develop a core of self-acceptance, self-loving and keen, clear observation. You're in a much better position to make wise choices and solve stressful problems. You prevent the stress of chaotic frustration and confusion with this simple but powerful tool of stress reduction for inner peace.

Speaking of tools for stress reduction, I invite you to sign up for my free newsletter, Seventeen Simple Stress Solutions, at

Dr. Ilenya Marrin is a personal peace coach, spiritual counselor, inspirational speaker, and author of ebooks, The Power of Personal Peace: Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out and 77 Loving Steps for Success. Please check out the Ask Dr. Ilenya postings at


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