I’ve been looking forward to answering the question “Does anyone really need a coach?" because a majority of people don't know what a coach does or how a coaching relationship can be of value. So the short answer is NO. You don't really need a coach. And yet there are many ways you can benefit from having a coach to help you transform the life you just live into a life you just love.
The reason you don't need a coach is that there's nothing wrong with you. Coaching isn't like therapy because we don't spend time unearthing your past. Instead, a coach assists you in constructing your future. In that way, therapy can be likened to archeology and coaching can be likened to architecture.
Coaches don't diagnose you, fix you or identify your problems. Instead, we recognize you as a whole and complete in your current state. Rather than helping you become “better" we guide you to see and understand your limited belief systems. Your self-limiting thoughts preclude you from realizing your inherent capacity and the subsequent joy that comes from expanding into the fullness of who you've always been.
How do we do that? A certified coach has received training in listening to you at the deepest level. We listen not only to the words you speak, but also to the energy behind the words. We're taught to recognize patterns in what you say as well as to detect changes in tone, intensity, and emotion. When we pick up on these subtle cues, we seize that moment to ask you an open-ended question. A coach’s question provides an opportunity for you to examine the validity and origin of your thoughts.
Here's an example of what I mean:
During a recent coaching session, my client remarked that she couldn't handle lots of money responsibly. She was expressing some unexamined fear that effectively prevented her from receiving her highest good. My question to her was “When in your life did you have lots of money and not handle it well?" To that she said “Well, when I was going through my divorce, I got into a lot of credit card debt. " So I asked “So then you didn't have a lot of money during that transition so you took on debt?" “That's true" she said and added “But I did spend a lot buying this house and going back to school. " By the end of our exchange she'd recognized that she'd actually never had a lot of money in her life.
She'd had enough to support herself and her son, have a roof over their heads and keep them moving forward but she'd really never had much more than was necessary. My conversation with her illustrates the point that we all believe things about ourselves and our capabilities which really aren't fact but fiction.
Erroneous beliefs come from many sources. They’re the product of believing what others have said in judgment of you. They come from somehow believing that you ARE your circumstances. They come from your own inner critic who, with practice, becomes very skilled at convincing you that your results are inadequate or that you are fundamentally unworthy of the real success you wish for.
As a coach who specializes in healing scarcity consciousness, I often encounter clients who approach prosperity as having ENOUGH. But the reality is that enough is JUST ENOUGH to survive. What I do is help you move from merely surviving to really thriving; from just enough to lasting abundance. In the end, it's about recognizing that the signs of success are merely the evidence we sometimes use to convince ourselves that WE are enough. And more often than not, life's trophies don't replace the inherent wealth you create from within. And that's where the support of a coach really makes a difference!
So the magic of coaching is the result of making a commitment to and investment in your self. The reward of such a relationship is the return on investment you get by putting your human capital where it will pay the highest possible dividend. Your coach will facilitate that by way of compassionate listening and reflecting back what was heard in a way that allows you to see your beliefs as objectively as possible.
While you'll always establish the agenda for the call and the action steps necessary to reaching your goal, a coach is your accountability partner and holds that space for you to live into the most dynamic, powerful, electric, joyful and succulent life you've ever imagined!
Author C. S. Lewis once wrote:
"Make your choice, adventurous stranger:
strike the bell and bide the danger
or wonder, till it drives you mad,
what would have happened if you had. . . "
My challenge to you is to identify the biggest, hairiest, ugliest belief about yourself that stands in the way of your true glory. Think of it as a troll who forbids you to cross the essential bridge to your true prosperity. But don't fear the troll. Learn its name, invite it to lunch, make friends with it, discover when and how it came into your life and by what means you've kept it alive. Until next time, I leave you with abundant peace.
Joyanne Sloan is certified life coach, inspirational author and podcaster. She helps you transform the life you just live into a life you just LOVE!
Discover her books, articles and podcasts for thought-provoking perspectives on how to live the life you've waited so long for.
Copyright © 2007 Joyanne Sloan - All Rights Reserved