I spent many years looking for redemption at the bottom of a twelve pack. Guess what? I never found it. The dictionary describes redemption as: the act of delivering from sin or saving from evil. Did I feel as if I needed saved? Not necessarily, but I did feel that altering my ‘reality’ with the help of alcohol was something I enjoyed doing, and at the time, I did enjoy it. But once I finally stepped away and got a sober perspective, I realized that thinking the way I did then was literally insanity.
I also realized that I hadn't seen the world through eyes that weren't clouded by alcohol residue for the better part of fifteen years! Once you're free of alcohol, that's literally how it feels. As if you were walking around in a haze. I suppose that's because that's exactly what was happening.
Many people ask me, “were you an alcoholic?" And I say, “No, I just drank a lot". I personally see the term alcoholic as a crutch of sorts that people then identify with rather than identifying with alcohol itself. And hey, if calling yourself an alcoholic works for you, great! I just have never thought of myself as an alcoholic. The point was, at least in my view that I drank too much. I would say on average I drank about a twelve pack a day, thus the title of this article.
Then one day, I woke up, and realized that I was divorced and had a one year old daughter. In the haze that I was in, it all seemed like a dream and not a dream with a happy ending. So I walked away from the drinking. In the beginning I simply said to myself, “Hey, you tried living your life while drinking for fifteen years, how has it worked out for you?" And after asking myself that question, I figured I'd at least give it a shot without, and see what happened. And now, after quite a bit of time has passed, I can't imagine ever drinking again. The way I look at it; I've been there and done that, now it's on to something else. It's funny, because in a way I did find redemption through drinking. It's just that it came through the act of stopping drinking, not through drinking itself.
Trevor Kugler - Co-founder of JRWfishing and founder of yourmoneyconnection.com Trevor has more than 15 years of business experience and currently raises his three year old daughter in the heart of trout fishing country - Montana.
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