Losers Ask "Why?" and Winners Ask "How?"


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There’s a saying you may have come across, especially if you’re in sales or sports or any walk of life that involves competing and outdoing your personal best.

It holds that there three kinds of folks:

(1) Those that make things happen;

(2) Those that watch what happens; and

(3) Those that scratch their heads and wonder: “What happened?"

I like that.

But even more, I like something I thought of this morning while reading a very interesting article in the paper about gamblers, those that succeed and those that lose everything and hit rock bottom.

The losers are stuck asking themselves: “Why did this happen to me? Why did I lose?"

Losers seek a cosmic or at least a psychological explanation or handy excuse for their mishaps.

Winners have a setback or experience a loss and ask: “How did this happen and how can I do better next time?"

A “how" question is practical and action-oriented.

“How can I buy that Porsche or that beautiful glass house in the forest?"

“Why" questions are inherently philosophical, mystical, and murky. More to the point, they’re unanswerable.

“Why don’t I have a Porsche or a beautiful glass house in the forest?"

See the difference?

I hope so, because to me, it could be a matter of choosing to be one of life’s winners or losers.

Monitor your questions, and then adjust them according to what you REALLY want.

A simple change of a word or two can mean the difference between hopelessly spinning your wheels and quickly getting back on the fast track, perhaps in that new Porsche of your dreams!

Best-selling author of 12 books and more than 1,000 articles, Dr. Gary S. Goodman is considered “The Gold Standard" in negotiation, sales development, customer service, and telephone effectiveness. Top-rated as a speaker, seminar leader, and consultant, his clients extend across the globe and the organizational spectrum, from the Fortune 1000 to small businesses. He can be reached at: gary@customersatisfaction.com .


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