Connecting Deeply With Others

Zoe Routh

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The quality of our lives is often determined by the quality of our relationships. And yet it is so easy to glide through life skimming the surface of relationships, without truly connecting with others. Here are some ideas to help you strengthen your connections with the people you care about.

Friends: when was the last time you asked how they are, how they REALLY are? And then listened. Really listened to what is happening in their lives. Ask them questions about what is going on for them. Be interested. Come from a place of curiosity and find out about their lives, who they are really, and what their dreams are. Thank your friends for being in your life. Tell them why you care for them so much, what they add to your life. Do the little things - call on birthdays, ring them out of the blue to say hello. Do the big things too - host a birthday party, have a special dinner to honour your friends. Enjoy them.

Family: when was the last time you told your family members you loved them? Don't assume they know. It always feels good to be told someone loves you. You just never know when you might never have that chance again.

Resolve the baggage you have with your family (yes- we all have some!). Do you really want to carry all that stuff around with you forever?? Do what it takes to get over it. Now.

Partner: when was the last time you looked into your partner's eyes (really looked) and just appreciated them for who they are? A long soft kiss never goes awry either! It's the little things that make a big difference - the quiet moments just being together, making a cup of tea for the other person, holding hands, all the little kindnesses that you can do for them - just because you can, and you want to. Enjoy the little moments. Be present.

Share your thoughts and feelings and dreams and plans. Drop the barriers and share who YOU really are. Be brave - be honest. When you bare your soul, you reach out and grow stronger because you become more of who you really are. Express yourself. And then listen.

Cancer survivor Zoe Routh is the Head Coach at Inner Compass, a personal development organisation that helps busy professionals work less and achieve more. Inner Compass offers practical strategies and solutions to improve personal effectiveness and live an inspired life.


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