Can You Really Accept Others For Who They Are?

Tim Connor

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What are some of the emotional games that people play with others? There is guilt, anger, blame, resentment, fear, jealousy, and withdrawal, just to mention a few of the common ones.

Happy people do not need to play these negative games in life. They realize that most of them are manipulative, or contribute to stress, conflict, or hurt feelings. People who are happy do not need to intentionally inflict pain on others. They do not need the ego gratification by emotionally controlling others.

If you have ever been involved in your life with someone, or a group of people - as in an organization of some kind - who was ‘into’ this type of behavior, you know what I am talking about. If you are the major game player here, you can not find happiness as long as you play.

You must be willing to let go of this emotional need to influence others using any number of emotional tactics. They just don't work in the long term. You may get what you want in the short run, but sooner or later, you will do significant damage to the other person, yourself or both.

If you have someone in your life that insists on playing these games with you, you have three options: 1, Try to help them see more clearly their behavior and its consequences. 2, Accept it and deal with it. 3, Leave the relationship. Sooner or later, staying in this environment will make finding lasting happiness difficult if not impossible.

Accept differences.

We are all unique, in our outlook, perceptions, attitudes, feelings, experiences, and history. There is no one just like us in the world. There never has been an exact duplicate of us, nor will there ever be one.

Differences make life interesting, and yes, challenging. Dealing with other people who see life differently makes for interesting relationships. Differences give life its opportunities for growth, insight, and awareness. The unfortunate thing is that these differences can often lead to unmanaged or unresolved conflict, stress, and disappointment.

People who live happy lives accept the uniqueness of individuals. They are not on a mission to change them, correct them or invalidate them. Happy people understand that everyone is on their own path throughout life doing what they need to do in order for them to fulfill their destiny.

Happy people also accept themselves for who they are, and who they are becoming. They are not in a rush to get to the end of the game. They are patient with themselves and others knowing that differences in human behavior is, just the way it is.

Who are you trying to change? Who in your life needs behavior or attitude modification? If you have a long list you have a lot of work to do on yourself before you will find true happiness.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at , 704-895-1230 or visit his website at .


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