If you've got siblings and a good relationship with them, this is an opportunity to deepen your relationship(s). This is particularly true if you manage to see the wedding planning and experience as something you do together and not something that they do for you! If you don't have easy relationships with your siblings this might be a place to invite them into your life. Because, you know, unless there are real problems, siblings are a great thing to have. For some of you, cousins and old family friends may count here. If you're single, friends and siblings definitely count.
Don't underestimate how much they love you and how happy they are that you're getting married. In most families I've seen, there's been a huge willingness for both partners’ siblings to hang out and become family with one another. (You need to be aware, this marriage is not just joining your and your sweetie's lives together, clans are being formed over the salsa! If there are lots of siblings on both sides, divvy up the day and do things “in the style of Family A" in the morning and “in the style of Family B" in the afternoon. You'll both learn lots!) Of course you can ask them to be attendants, but here are 5 other ways you and your families can spend time together, make life sweeter and the wedding more fun:
- Organization: somebody in the family may have done this before. Why not use their expertise. It's true, there are times it can be a struggle - you get to have what you want at your wedding, but great support from someone who loves you can't be overrated!
- Moral support: even if you're spending all the money, doing all the work, making all the decisions, you're going to want someone to call. Siblings often make good listeners. Many of them are great project workers as well.
- Hospitality: If you're getting married anywhere near where siblings live, they may open their home to guests, they may be willing to host a party. If you're getting married far away from where they live, they may be willing to be in charge at a party wherever you are. And the great thing about siblings is that they entertain the way you entertain, so you'll have a good time at the party.
- Models: Our siblings have been our heroes and our beloveds all our lives. Our ability to love is formed in the crucible of the family (ok, ok, for better or for worse!). If you've got married siblings, and you like their marriages, you may want to use them as “god parents for your marriage!"
- Fun: People really miss the fact that the wedding planning can be a good time - or that there are a lot of different groups you can have that fun with. You'll want to do some things with your beloved. You'll have some friend experiences. But when it comes down to it, you've been laughing and crying your way through life with your siblings longer than with anyone else.
As you marry, you want to be grounding yourself in your support systems. Your siblings have or will have the children who will be your children's cousins. So include them as you plan the wedding ceremony that will launch your marriage and the reception that will celebrate it all!
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! If you want in-depth pointers, ideas, information about designing your perfect wedding ceremony, explore my site! And now I'd like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding vows of your dreams and the marriage of a lifetime: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free
The Rev. Ann Keeler Evans - helping you move from “I do" to happily and healthily ever after!