Congratulations! You're getting married. If no one has mentioned it yet, let me give you some bad news. Marriage isn't just joy and wonder, although it is also those things. Marriage is also difficult and complicated. If you are determined to have a life-long happy and healthy marriage, you can do so. It will take work, but it will be worth it. I know what the statistics say. But each marriage has the chance to succeed. It depends what you want.
Each couple has qualities that will enable them to succeed at marriage. Their abilities to use their individual and joint strengths will help them weather the challenges they encounter. By the same token, there will be qualities that a couple could stand a bit more of. These qualities would add to the stability or the excitement or. . . the success of the marriage.
Here's a list of some the qualities most commonly understood to enhance a marriage. Obviously there are many more, but these will make marriage not only more successful, but also more comfortable. And if you're going to spend 60 years together, you might as well be comfortable! What did I forget? Caring, compromise, courage, daring, faithfulness, gentleness, honesty, kindness, love, loyalty, openness, practicality, regard, respect, steadfastness, trust, wisdom.
Now, here are some ways to allow yourselves to be “gifted" with those qualities in your wedding ceremony. Don't be afraid to seek out the givers of the gifts and study the ways they use their gifts in their own lives. The health and happiness of your marriage may depend upon it.
- Ring Ceremony. Pass the rings throughout the community to be blessed and imbued with the qualities that they believe you will need. (Please, tie them together AND use a mesh bag!)
- Flower Ceremony. Ask friends and family members to hand you flowers which correspond to qualities you would like to deepen in your marriage.
- Stone Ceremony. Ask your community to hold a small rock or pebble and “put" a wish into it. A word can be written on the stone with a sharpie. Then gather the rocks or pebbles for a bowl in your house or place the rocks in your garden.
- Light Candles. Ask individuals or the entire community to light candles of good wishes around candles symbolizing each of you and your relationship. (This only works inside or at night - if there is no wind!)
- Individual Gifts. Ask individuals to write qualities on a slip of paper. Or ask individuals or couples to invoke certain qualities which you will need - qualities which they have, qualities you are willing to learn from them!
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! If you want in-depth pointers, ideas, information about designing your perfect ceremony, explore my site! And now I'd like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding vows of your dreams and the marriage of a lifetime: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free
The Rev. Ann Keeler Evans - helping you move from “I do" to happily and healthily ever after!