Lately a reader and also a friend of mine emailed me asking for advice on choosing a credible and reliable fengshui master.
Fengshui master, in our Chinese culture, helps to choose auspicious dates based on the wedding couples and their parents birthdates, birth years and Eastern zodiac signs.
In some families, choosing the right date is a life-and-death issue and even if it may fall on some weekdays, some families will go ahead as planned even though it may cause inconvenience to others relatives and friends who are working.
Beside choosing dates, the fengshui master will set aside auspicious timings when the groom has to fetch the bride, when the bride has to return home and when the tea-ceremony has to start.
There are many practices to follow for the believers.
I have heard that for Teochew, the groom has to leave the house at 4am in the morning so that he can fetch the bride at 5am. I think it is quite crazy.
Again it is a custom to the Teochew which must be followed and I respect that.
In fact, for me, I don’t really believe such beliefs.
There are two main reasons that wedding couples seek the advice from fengshui masters.
One of them is the wedding couples truly believe in it.
The other reason is to satisfy the mothers and to stop the constant nagging from them.
Nagging from mothers could be more potent than any other forms of stressor.
For us, we did this so that my mother-in-law can be convinced that the date we choose is the “right” one.
Surprisingly, the fengshui master we consulted advised us that the dates do not really matter at all.
It is how we nurture marriage every single day that matters. He was speaking from experience too and as a husband to his wife.
He mentioned that he had been choosing the right dates for wedding couples for many years and he only believes in one thing.
He believes that the couples must treat each other with love, respect and understanding.
Making marriage works is an everyday affair and not just based on some dates that he chose for them.
In short, what I want to share with couples who are stressful about the many choices of fengshui masters out there is that the dates though may matter alot right now, does not determine whether your marriage will eventually work out.
It is how you nurture and grow your relationship everyday that matters.
Jhong Ren runs My Wedding Blog - an online wedding diary that gives more than just the usual tips and advice on a daily basis. Check out http://www.romance-fire.com now and by all means leave us your comments, share some of your own wedding experiences and give us some suggestions for new resources we can recommend to our community.