So let me paint the picture. You see a hot chick at a club, shopping centre or I dunno the tennis club. You build up the guts to talk to her, make her laugh and somehow manage to get her number. You think to yourself “SWEET!! I'm in".
You end up calling her a couple of days later, like the rule book suggests . . to ask her out on a date. She doesn't pick up. You think hey she is busy and you try again later that same day. You still don't get a response. So you call again and finally you get an answer. You talk to her expecting that things are going to pick up where you left off and are utterly stunned when starts making excuses as to why she can't meet up with you. She says that she will get back to you and she never does. You are left scratching your head, thinking to yourself “where did it go wrong?".
So here is the thing.
Some of you may be baffled by this whole situation.
To some of you it doesn't make sense.
Well I'm going to lay out for you what is REALLY happening and what you really SHOULD be doing.
Lets get started.
Rule # 1 - Don't Contact Her For At Least 48 Hours
I know it sounds hard doesn't it? But you have to stick by these rules. Because when you wait for the 48 hours you appear needy and in need of a life.
Here is the thing. I have been on dates with guys and literally like 2 minutes after the date they are messaging me and telling me what a great time they had on the date and how they would like to see me again.
Then I have also had guys who send me a message straight after a date and then send me another one 30 minutes later wondering why I haven't sent them a reply yet.
The only thing that runs through my mind is . . stalker, get a life, and ewwww.
Its like an instant turn off. N there is no logical way to explain it. So do it not only as a favour for me but for all the other poor girls out there.
Just make sure that when you follow this rule that you don't wait too long after 48 hours. Anything more than 4 days and the girl (if she is interested in you) starts to get pissed because you didn't call her within that “calling period" and she assumes that you are not interested.
You can mess with a girl and pretend that you are not interested, but this is not one of those instances.
Rule # 2 - Send Her A Text Message First
You know scoring a date is kind of like making a sale. Except the item that you are selling is yourself.
So in other words you are going to have to look like something that she would want to date/buy =)
Now that doesn't mean being something that you are not. But it does mean that for the moment you operate within a certain guidelines until you have internalized all this “game stuff" . . . so bear with me ok?
So as part of this, stick to the rule of messaging her first before you call her. Every girl is comfortable with messages. In fact we like them more to begin with.
See its great for us and is great for you too. It means that you can actually think about what you want to write, you don't have to think on the spot.
Now the main agenda with text messages is to warm her up. Let her know that you are on her radar and that you will be in contact with her soon.
If a guy messages us within 2 days of us handing out our number then that is sufficient enough for us to know that you are interested without appearing really needy and wussy.
Now as a general rule with messaging keep it short and sweet. Banter a lot, but don't get into these messaging conversations. At the absolute maximum make sure that you only send 2-3 messages in one conversation. Always be the one to end the messaging conversation.
Meaning to say that when the conversation is nearing to an end then you are the one that has to stop sending her messages.
Some of my friends have trouble with this, because they feel in control by being the ones to have the last say. But you have to look at it from the point of view that YOU are the one in control because you have the strength to stop the messaging first.
Rule # 3 - message Her And Then Call Her
Ok so I have to admit that this is not something that I came up with. But one of the things that I heard one of the guys do on David D's cds. None the less I have to share it with you and take the credit for it. This dude can't remember his name, had an awesome strategy.
He would message this girl and then when she replied back then he would call her within a minute or so.
He found that significantly increased his chance of getting to speak to her, because she would have to be close to her phone in order to send the message right?!
Brilliant idea and I suggest that all you guys use it.
Rule # 4 - Keep It Light And Keep It Casual
Ok so when you call her for the first time after she has given you her phone number then its not a good time to start going into a deep and meaningful.
You actually want to keep things fairly casual and most importantly keep it brief. But just because it's a short amount of time, doesn't mean that you don't have your work cut out for you!
The first thing that you want to do when you call the girl is to break the ice and get her laughing. Essentially you want to get her back into the same state as she was in when she gave you that phone number.
The best way to do this, is to refer to something that happened when you last saw her. Maybe refer to a joke that you had previously found funny with her and give her updated content on it. This will bring her back to that place and help her feel more comfortable with you.
That's the thing with phone calls. You want to be able to establish comfort before you can even consider asking her out.
If a girl doesn't think that she will be comfortable with you or will be able to trust you then she will not even consider going on that date with you.
So remember the rule, keep it light and keep it casual. Break the ice and get her to laugh before you even consider asking her out.
Rule # 5 - Keep It Short and Sweet
This kind of follows on from the other points. But seriously don't talk too long. Like 5 minutes.
As a general rule with this whole gaming and dating thing . . . Less is always MORE!
Seriously. . .
You don't have to get an update of what this chick has been doing in the past 2 days. She doesn't have to know about all your past relationships before you guys go on a date.
All you have to get a chick to do . . is know you, like you and trust you and then you can get her to go anywhere and do just about anything with her.
Rule # 6 - Leave one voicemail that's IT!
If you have to leave a voicemail then make sure that its only one. Two or more becomes stalkerish.
I know it sounds silly but its true and this is what goes through a chicks head. When courting a girl, you need to remember to give her the space to think about you. If you are constantly trying to impede on her space then she is totally not going to appreciate it.
Give her the gift of missing you ok?
So with a voice mail you need to remember to keep it short and sweet.
You don't have to repeat your number and all that stuff, just leave the a short message and then hang up.
So in regards to what you should say, then you can say something a little cocky funny and then get her to give you a call back.
When calling a girl, be prepared for a voicemail and know what you are going to say as well.
There is nothing worse than a long winded voicemail message with a guy who doesn't know what he is talking about, who is wasting your time and YOUR credit!
Some of you may be wondering how many times you should call before giving up.
Firstly you should message first. If the girl messages back, then your chances of getting to talk to her again are much higher.
If you message a girl and she doesn't message you back . . and this message contained some call to action on her behalf. Then you need to know that you are going to have to do some major work on getting this girl to go on a date with you.
persistence is not the only tool you need. There is no point in doing the wrong things over and over hoping that you will get a positive result in the end.
You have to do what works.
Remember to warm a girl up to you. You can tell that a girl has warmed up to you when she is laughing at your jokes and the conversation is flowing.
Here's a tip. When a girl talks with ease, it means that she is comfortable with you.
If you find her being more quiet that usual, then there is something up and she is not comfortable, because A = she thinks that you are a freak or B = she hasn't warmed up to you yet.
In regards to what you should talk to her about . . . you main aim be cocky funny, make her laugh and have a good time.
Keep it short and sweet and always leave her wanting more.
Now with that said . . . Now I want to see better conversion rates ok? *winks*
Jennifer Nielsen the founder of Hot Alpha Female is a vibrant 20 something chick who specializes in making an art of “getting the dating game". She has a passion for building the awareness of her readers to define who they really are so that they are able to build happier and healthier relationships in the future. Her respective blog therefore is a collection of her works so far and proves to be a great resource hub with interviews, videos, audios and posts of the most current and up to date issues that people experience when it comes to dating and relationships.
Visit the official Hot Alpha Female site @ http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com