Unfortunately, many single Christians miss out on life affirming and positive relationships because of misplaced focus. Sometimes our focus is warped because we are too close to the action to see how we are messing up our interactions. Also, most of us are so caught up in our own opinions and desires that we miss out on experiencing true connections with others. Sure we talk a good game about caring for others, but subconsciously, we are just seeing things purely from our narrow perspectives.
Many of our relationships are just rusted out containers housing tired old clichés. Clichés are defined as overused phrases or as people who are superficial. In the context of relationships, clichés are either common but empty habits that inhibit the establishment of strong relationships or shallow people whose only real concern is their selfish desires. When we are subjected to cliché actions or people, we feel frustrated because people don't really understand us. We lament the fact that people who claim to love us really do not feel our pain. We bemoan the fact that our friends do not really understand the baggage of hurt we carry. We wonder why those in our inner circle do not really trust us the way we feel they should. The same questions we have about others are being posed by others about us.
How can Christian singles move beyond the cliché tainted relationships we have with others?
- Strive to love others as God loves us. A major characteristic of Godly love is self-sacrifice.
- Put others’ needs above our needs. It is not about what is good for us. Make it about what is good for others.
- Listen with our hearts as well as with our ears. Stop listening only to see how we can get what we want.
- Trust others like we want to be trusted. Let's stop assuming the worst about each other.
- Let our first impulse be to forgive instead of to seek revenge. We should love others more when they are behave in unlovable ways.
- Actively seek opportunities to inconvenience ourself to help others. Yes, go out of our way to uplift the people in your life!
- Practice, practice and practice some more our trust in God that He will take care of us if we put all of our energies in selflessly helping others. It is an outright lie that God helps those who help themselves! The spiritual truth is that God helps those who help others.
Kevin Morgan is an author, entrepreneur and publisher. His publishing company, Sowjourn Publishers, markets books that uplift and inspire. To learn more about living a fulfilled life as a Christian single, visit http://www.sowjourn.com or his blog on singleness: http://mooskm.blogspot.com