One of the most frustrating exercises for me is to try to locate information on the internet about being a Christian single. Why you ask? Because a far majority of the sites that appear when you do a google search on “Christian singles" are relating to dating. To make matters worse, many of these sites are essentially paid services that will supposedly help find the perfect match. It is bad enough that it is almost impossible to uncover spiritually relevant discussions on living a wholesome life as a Christian single. It is worse that if I were looking for a wife or a girlfriend, I have to pay someone else to boost my love life.
Dating for Christian singles has its place in our lives, but my concern that it is often not placed in its rightful place. On the internet, from our family members, friends and associates, the message is clear: If you are single, then your priority is to do whatever is necessary to escape from the prison of singleness.
Nevermind that single Christians have to earn a living, pay their bills, make up their beds, maintain their weight, put their cars in the shop, put up with obnoxious people at work and perform other duties to keep pace in the rat race of life. Do we really need to add “Find a date" to our already burdensome list of obligations?
I cannot imagine anyone who is more desirous of finding someone special and getting married than me. I get lonely at times and I wish “Miss Look So Good" would hurry up and take up residence in my arms and in my heart. But where in the list of priorities do I place my dating activities? Cars don't put themselves in the shop. Bills don't automatically get paid. My bed will stay unmade if I don't do it in the mornings. My business will not grow by itself. Dating will just have to take a number and get in line along with all the other stuff that needs to get done.
Putting God first and discerning His will for my life is the first step in putting dating in its rightful place. The next step is the elevation of others to their God-ordained potential. Too many of us place dating somewhere further up the list of steps which ends up with God and the uplifting of others getting crowded out. It is then any wonder that my dating relationships are so frustrating when my relationships with God and with others are given my truly DIVIDED attention? Maybe I should instead focus on truly putting God first and on helping others. Surely I will get better results in all aspects of my life including my dating activities.
Kevin Morgan is an author, entrepreneur and publisher. His publishing company, Sowjourn Publishers, markets books that uplift and inspire. To learn more about living a fulfilled life as a Christian single, visit http://www.sowjourn.com or his blog on singleness: http://mooskm.blogspot.com