There are many common practices that can cause spouses to draw apart. And since this is done every day, spouses don’t even notice they are hurting their spouse and putting a barrier between them already. If you are not conscious the damage and the hurt could already be deep that you would need marriage counseling to heal and regain your marriage as it was before.
Many individuals were born or raised to be competitive. When it comes to marriage though, both spouses should be in the same side. While you might find it fun to have a little competition, it could also hurt the marriage later. This is because spouses would tend to keep scores on what each has done for their marriage or for their family. When both of them are busy, they could start announcing scores and point fingers as to who needs to do something at this time. At other times, one would forego doing one thing so his or her spouse can do something first. But he or she would expect the spouse to do the same later on. One spouse uses this instance to control his or her spouse next time. This should not be the case in marriage though. Petty things could start as arguments. But later on this becomes a major issue in the marriage. But if you realize that you are already in this situation, there is still hope though. You should mend your ways and agree to change your attitude towards marriage. If necessary, you can also do marriage counseling.
Spouse Always Nagging
Most of the time, nagging is learned and acquired when the spouse has parents who nag. Since such practice is heard and seen every day, it becomes normal to the children who later on become spouses too. But take note though that no one likes being nagged. Don’t you remember it when you found it noisy? When you do it to your spouse, it becomes tiring after some time. Some spouses would even try to stay out more often just to escape the nagging. You will eventually push your spouse away. When this happens, it would be more difficult to bring your marriage back to it was before. Before this happens you should start controlling yourself. If you think nothing is happening, you and your spouse can go on marriage counseling to start the process of repairing your marriage.
Hurtful Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse can hurt the abused spouse deeply. Who would not get hurt by name calling and harsh word especially coming from your own spouse? And aside from the hurt coming from the abusive spouse though, the abused eventually loses his or her self respect and self confidence(which is lavt selvværd symptomer called in Danish). With an abusive partner and a broken person, surely marriage is bound to crumble. Unless the abusive spouse repents and mends his ways and the abused spouse works towards healing, marriage may not be able to survive. So if this is happening in your own marriage, you should start now before it is too late. If both partners don’t know where to start and need help, marriage counseling (known as vellykket familierådgivning in Danish) may be the solution.