Do you know that one factor that can create a problem in your marriage is when you start managing your spouse? What does this mean? You may not realize this but many couples have had strong discussions or arguments due to this behavior and words. The word manage normally applies in one's workplace or business. It sounds like starting and managing a business from your home. Conversations between spouses should not sound businesslike. This removes the “romance" out of the relationship.
Today, most couples both go to work because of their financial needs. Precisely because of this, more than half of their time is in this working environment. Naturally their way of thinking and habits form in their place of work. So that when they go home, they continue to bring this with them unconsciously. Haven't you noticed your spouse taking home work sometimes? And during dinner time and after, you both exchange thoughts about how your day went at the office? Without realizing it, your house has become an extension of your office.
This can be a start of a problem in your relationship. Because now that you have brought home with you your office habits, thoughts and language, you continue to act like starting and managing a business from your home. You start to behave and talk to your spouse with an attitude of an employer-employee mentality. The relationship is starting to become stiff with a little formality. You start to dictate to your spouse in a way that you dictate your secretary or subordinate.
The other will not receive this kind of approach happily because he or she is definitely not one, a subordinate, that is. Remember, one does not want to be dictated especially when he or she is tired from work.
Here are some means by which we must avoid managing each other.
1. Don't bring work at home.
As soon as you shut down you computer at the office, log off from the office or finish your business, do the same with your mind regarding work, meaning switch off that channel and turn to the channel of your home.
2. Look forward to coming home.
As soon as you get inside your car ready to go home, look forward to seeing your spouse and children. For sure your family is also looking forward to your coming home. So keep that excitement the way you felt on your first date.
3. Bring love into your home.
This is always very important for love brings happiness, enthusiasm and peace in your home. Keep remembering your house is not an office but what you want is a home.
4. Be a loving spouse
When your spouse is feeling low due to problems at the office, don't give solutions in a managerial way. He or she had enough of that at the office. But give encouraging words or even solutions as a loving spouse. It is always music to your ears when your spouse only speaks with love. That is exactly what your spouse needs at that moment.
Remember you are not each other's Boss, therefore, don't manage one other. Yes, you must share your thoughts and help each other do things better but as a husband and wife relationship full of love. You will have a happier home!
Ted and Christine Segura have been involved in the topic of relationships for several years. They are seriously involved in an organization that helps couples and families in the areas of family life and enhancing relations. They can be contacted at http://www.idealfamilylife.com .