My guess is that most of you have already had relationships galore. Good ones. Bad ones. Regrettable relationships. Forgettable relationships. Relationships that were life-changing. With all of them adding up to too many Cycles through too many of the Nine Stages. All of that experience has gotten you where you are right now.
Do you want to keep using the same methods you have used so far, or would you rather try a new approach? Maybe you'd like to try a new method that will let you benefit from all those dead-end trips down paths that led to neither Happily Here & Now nor Happily Ever After?
But remember: Ever After is the destination. Here and Now is the path you travel each day on the way to Ever After.
There really ARE so many possible Heroes (or Heroines) - and so little time. The problem: how to find the One - without taking all those side trips?
What Happily Ever After means to you is probably going to be significantly different from what it means to me and most everyone else. What is important to each of us can be very different and is almost surely unique in many ways.
A warning though - if you really are serious about finding your own Happily Ever After, there ARE going to be three hard parts to that Quest:
- The Hard Part: Seeking out Happily Here & Now with ONLY those who MIGHT be the companion to accompany you all the way to Happily Ever After, while you and they enjoy every morsel of Happily Here & Now you can - for as long as the ultimate destination of a shared Happily Ever After is still possible for you both.
- The Really Hard Part: Ending Happily Here & Now when it becomes obvious to you both that Happily Ever After will not happen together.
- The Excruciatingly Hard Part: Ending Happily Here & Now when just one of you believes Happily Ever After can still happen together.
This first one is bad enough but the last two can be very tough - especially when the Happily Here & Now you share is fun or fulfilling or content in so many different facets of the relationship.
If you find yourself at this point in a relationship, slow down long enough to see if you, or they, can fix what needs to be fixed to make it to Happily Ever After together.
If so, continue the journey.
If not, well, how much you believe in, or really want to reach Happily Ever After will dictate your own answer.
Warning: Sometimes, the periods in between Happily Here & Now are so long that even when we taste a bit of it, when we sense even a little mutual chemistry, it is like a feast to a starving man.
Even when the Here & Now is not-so-great, these Three Hard Parts are often the reasons that many give up on ever finding Happily Ever After - with most settling for only a partial Happily Here & Now. It is no wonder that so many have stopped believing that Happily Ever After exists.
Most of us just aren't willing to do all three of those hard parts, Cycle after Cycle through the Nine Stages, to get there - even though the consequence is that most of us still cycle - moving from one Happily Here & Now to the next - more often than not with someone who never, even from the beginning, shared our same vision of Ever After.
Happily Here & Now
Happily Here & Now, when it is mutually fulfilling and long lasting, doesn't have to even be a bad compromise. But about the only way to even enjoy this kind of compromise requires a very close match to one another's wants, wishes and needs. The closer those matches, the longer the relationship will probably be mutually satisfying - and the longer you both can delay another Cycle through the Nine Stages.
But either way, if your goal is Happily Ever After OR Happily Here & Now, you need to start by defining exactly what it is you want for YOU. So, why not figure out a way to squeeze the ambiguity out of all your wants and wishes and needs - so you can make it clear to both yourself and to others what you, uniquely, want for YOU?
Again, all of this is the reality of the steps necessary to reach Happily Ever After. Those three hard parts are, again, just the dictates of reality and logic.
Bonus: For more articles on this same topic and posts on love, relationships and finding your own perfect-for-you Hero or Heroine, I invite you to visit my blog. . . and ask your own questions. . .
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