Oxytocin is a hormone present in both men and women, best known for being produced when women breast-feed a baby, and part of the chemical reaction that Mom Nature uses for the mechanics of producing and delivering milk. But like a lot of stuff, it has side effects galore, including *** arousal in women and penile erection in men. But the part that's important here is that it also has the effect of causing the strong psychological reaction of bonding.
Why is all of this important to talk about when discussing long term relationships?
This same hormone, also known as the “cuddle chemical, " is produced during *** arousal but especially floods both men's and women's bodies at the peak of orgasm - causing the same kind of psychological bonding reaction in both men and women. However, the levels of oxytocin produced in women are significantly higher than men (also, higher testosterone levels in men appear to reduce the effect of the oxytocin produced by guys).
All of which can cause a woman to feel more bonded and make her that much more interested in monogamy than a man - especially after the sex. Yeah, I know. Another thing you heard here first. But, at least now you know part of the reason.
(It does raise the scientifically interesting question: Whether there is an even higher level of increased bonding, statistically speaking, in very highly multi-orgasmic women - I have my own suspicions about this although I couldn't find any cited, direct research or data sets to support my empirical conclusions - but I digress. )
OK. OK. I did promise I wasn't going to get into this sort of thing about the underlying chemical reactions, and such, of love. But when “momomomonogamy" and “cococococommitment" become issues you need to understand part of the why.
If you want to know a lot more about all the new stuff they are just now discovering about all of this, surf the web using the keyword phrase of “oxytocin AND orgasm. " Some of the information at the links you find will probably amaze you.
The point is that you really do need to make sure your three lists match as closely as possible - before the sex - so you have some feel for the true compatibility between you before more chemistry gets in the way.
Otherwise, the Monogamy Dragon will have you feeling other things and teasing you with other hormones that, just like the other chemistry, might once again get you waylaid - sending you back through an extra trip through the Cycle of the Nine Stages.
Bonus: For more articles on this same topic and posts on love, relationships and finding your own perfect-for-you Hero or Heroine, I invite you to visit my blog. . . and ask your own questions. . .
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