Just like your prior real-life, there are going to be two kinds of rejection you will encounter using The Methodology: You will reject others and others will reject you.
Rejection of Them
If you are doing a good job of exposing yourself and expanding your Known Universe, then the good news is that you should end up with several, if not a huge number, of prospective Hero or Heroine applicants. If you've done a good job defining your Lists and expressing your needs, wants and wishes, then hopefully most who are responding will be very close to what you seek.
Since there is only one of you, guess what? There can usually be only one real winner. Most folks want just one Hero or Heroine for Happily Here & Now to accompany them all the way to Happily Ever After. There are all sorts of exceptions I can think of to the one-on-one play book, but you get the general idea.
The upshot is that you will have to tell all the others they aren't the one. Just like real-life. . .before The Methodology, huh? The difference is that with The Method, you now know there are no wrong answers - just different answers - and your Lists make it much easier to tell them there's just not a match.
However, a problem that arises is that they may think that they still match the Lists when you know that they don't.
This was one of the major issues I had with my first approach when developing The Methodology. With my first Lists, many of the resulting 10,000 Heroine applications honestly thought they matched the words on my Lists even though it was obvious to me they didn't match my intent.
The problem wasn't with them, but was with me - until I redefined and expanded the narrative of the Lists, eliminating as much of the ambiguity and vagueness as possible (my sincere apologies to these 10,000, that I didn't know better to begin with. )
The impact of the better-defined Lists on the rate of new applications was astounding. New applications plummeted to less than a tenth of what they had been per month AND the quality and closeness to a real match greatly improved - which meant I had to reject a lot fewer women, saving a lot of time and emotions for everyone.
While it may be great for your ego, initially, to get as many responses as possible, you will quickly learn that it wastes too much time - both yours and theirs. But even beyond that, you know from your own life that rejection of any kind sometimes can be emotional and hurtful even when never intended.
While, at first glance, The Methodology may seem to be strictly self-serving for those using it, the intent is that The Method is really good for everyone - saving everyone from wasting time and emotions on all those dead-end relationships or in situations where there is only a one-way attraction.
But it takes your help to work. You've got to be clear in your responses to prospective Hero or Heroine applicants and you need to understand it is probably going to be MORE hurtful if you string them along because you don't want to hurt them by rejecting them directly.
Trust me, it only gets harder, the longer you wait. But when you do it, do it the way you would want it done to you.
There are few places where Mom's Golden Rule is more appropriate than here - especially when combined with candid, but not cruel, honesty - and avoiding any and all lies, deceit and manipulation.
Rejection of You
See above. It really isn't any different for you than all the above - except that you have two advantages:
- Now that you understand The Method, you know it really isn't personal when you get rejected. You simply don't match, for whatever reason, what they seek - and they have every right to want what they want for themselves, just like you do for yourself.
- Now that you have totally implemented your Exposure Machine, you have lots of other Hero or Heroine applicants to choose from because your Known Universe is so large (if this isn't the case, go expand it some more).
All of that having been said, I also know you will sometimes come across one, or some, who seem SO right for you that you just know they are perfect for you in every way. But, alas, they just don't have any real interest in you as their Hero or Heroine.
That is the worst of all of this dragon's offspring. But that's life, Method or no Method, and the only defense to the Unrequited Dragon is to just get over it and move on. Hopefully, from all you've learned here, you now know to hold onto your heart longer so that you find out you don't match what they are seeking early in the almost-relationship.
Remember this part - and be kind to those who might want to be your own Hero or Heroine, especially those who think you are perfect for them.
If you really do treat them as you yourself would want to be treated, you will have done all you can to ease any pain the rejection might cause.
Bonus: For more articles on this same topic and posts on love, relationships and finding your own perfect-for-you Hero or Heroine, I invite you to visit my blog. . . and ask your own questions. . .
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