When Love Is Not Enough

 


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Several reasons explain why some relationships fail while others succeed.

“But I love you, I love you. ” Are these words from one side of a relationship enough to make the relationship work? Should the same words resonate from the other partner as well, so that there is a balance in the relationship? Will that make it work? The feelings associated with falling in love, hearing wedding bells, and envisioning the piano playing “Here comes the bride” can be overwhelming. At times these feelings can curtail a person’s ability to think in a reasonable fashion.

To work, love relationships need to be approached with the right perspective from the beginning? which is? rational rather than clouded by emotions? Just like most things, if a relationship is not working, it can be refreshed. There is nothing sadder than investing in a relationship or marriage just to see it turn sour at the end.

There is an old saying: “A person cannot give an orange if the person does not have an orange to give. ” In relationship terms, a person cannot offer you something he or she does not have to offer you. Eternal love can be found only within a man or a woman who has it in them to offer. When two people belong with one another, they will have this love to offer each other. This mutual love and belonging is referred to as being soulmates. A soulmate relationship is different from wanting to be with a person out of love alone.

Often people feel they are in love with another person, thus their love alone warrants a relationship or marriage. To love a person enough to want to spend the rest of one’s life with them is great. The question is, should relationships be based on just how one side feels about the other? Another question arises. There are times when a man and woman may love each other very deeply, but do their feelings for each other warrant a love relationship or marriage?

There is love in everyone. The feeling of wanting to share this love with the opposite sex is normal. The secret is to understand that although one person may love the other, or two people may love each other, they still may not be right for each other. When two people are not right for each other but try to become lovers based on their feelings alone, is it any different from taking something that does not belong to you just because you feel you like it?

When you take something that is not rightfully yours, it’s possible you might try too hard so you can hang on to it. Relationships are no different. To explain the analogy, when you take something that belongs to you, it’s possible you will do very little to hang on to it. Why? Because what you have taken is yours. Does it make sense? Think about it this way: when someone steals something, the person will try all sort of ways to hide it so the rightful owner cannot find it. Whereas if the thief didn’t steal but took something for himself that he already owned, he would have no cause for concern.

Love is great; it is good that it is in all humans and that we all can give love. In using love to enhance or to influence relationship, the love needs to be shared by two people who belong with each other. This way there is a balance. These two people are soulmates. A soulmate relationship is different from wanting to be with a person out of love alone. In soulmate love relationships, because the partners belong with one another, they have no fear that one partner will be stolen by a new lover. Soulmates belong with each other, thus they do not hide things from each other or do out of their way trying to hang on to each other. Soulmates do very little to sustain their relationship. This is because they have a unique bond.

Soulmates are very secure together. They tend to naturally trust each other. In their relationship there is no cause for jealousy, mistrust, control, dishonesty, and so forth. Soulmates do not to accept each other on the bases of material acquisitions. They never get tired of each other. My research has found that even their voices are therapeutic for one another, calming each other down naturally. The health benefits alone for those in soulmate love relationships are more than words can describe. For example, some researchers have found that soulmates live longer and happier than those in a non-soulmate love relationship.

There is more to soulmates than meets the eye. In order for two people to come to the conclusion they are soulmates, each of them needs to confirm this on their own, without one manipulating the other partner into believing he or she has received a confirmation. Loving feelings between soulmates are far beyond the love that most men and women experience in their love relationships. In some cases this loving feeling is described as being so strong at times it makes your heart feel as though it is going to burst.

Soulmates are found in and between all cultures but not every culture values soulmate love relationships. For example, as I researched this topic, I discovered that in cultures such as that of the Japanese, it is not uncommon for a woman in relationship with her soulmate to purposely break off the relationship for personal and self-serving reasons. In my interviews with Japanese women, they explained that the love between soulmates is so strong that it hurts them too much when their boyfriend hurts. To not feel hurt when their boyfriend feels hurt, they would rather leave him. One may think, why would anyone walk away from their soulmate? As this example illustrates, different cultures see and understand love differently.

Soulmates are men and women who belong with one another. Yet the term is much misunderstood. The popular press often tells us of men and women, the rich and the famous, all claiming to have found their soulmate. We hear about movie actors and other singles who claim likewise, but within months, sometimes weeks, their relationship comes crashing down. In some case the end result can be bitterness, depending on what one partner may have given up to acquire the relationship or lost in the relationship.

To avoid such a result, it is absolutely critical that you understand what love is, what a soulmate is, what make two people soulmates, how to get a confirmation that you are with the right person, and so forth. These things you must know are very simple, yet knowing them is the best way to find that special someone. To forgo this knowledge and its application is a blueprint for constant failed relationships as well as marriages that end in divorce. In researching soulmate love relationships, I have found that love alone is not enough to make a love relationship work. The partners must also be soulmates.

It’s critical not to confuse infatuation with soulmate feelings. It is also important to evaluate one’s health, well-being, happiness, and so forth, then decide what steps need to be taken to achieve happiness. In this world, nothing good comes easy or free. I suggest the following steps to achieve happiness and a lasting soulmate relationship:

  • Invest the time to select the right mate.

  • Invest spiritually to recognize that the person you are with is that special someone.

  • Invest in your relationship intelligence by attending courses or reading books about relationships and how to make them work.

    Such investments will reap lasting benefits. Above all, they will help you avoid the emotional pain and heartache from unsuitable relationships, breakups and failed marriages that men and women put themselves through for temporal acceptance. Finding and recognizing your soulmate is a sure way to find that eternal love that most men and women only dream off. You are here to succeed in your love life. The choice is your

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    Ernest Quansah, P. C. , L. S. C. , is a love relationship counselor, an author, and a life skills consultant. He received his counseling training at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada (at the Life & Career Centre). He is the author of the book “How to Identify Your Soulmate, ” a comprehensive manual on creating the relationship of your dreams. His articles on relationships have been published worldwide. For more information on his services, please visit http://www.soulmateinfoserve.com .

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