When one spouse feels aggrieved enough to file for a divorce, it is entirely understandable that they would harbour resentment towards their partner and instruct their representatives to hurt their soon be former husband/wife by any means necessary. Whilst it is understandable, though, it is by no means advisable.
Consider the now well publicised divorce of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Yes, Kutcher engaged in adultery and it is understandable that Moore feels betrayed and hurt as a result, but her desire to pursue Kutcher for a substantial settlement when a prenuptial agreement is in place are likely to be fruitless. Her representatives will have advised her of this, of course, and considering her already vast fortune, it is unlikely that her actions are financially motivated. Rather, she is clearly intent on punishing Kutcher; no other motive exists.
Now, for the extremely affluent this is a feasible, albeit immoral, course of action. Moore has the resources she will need to engage in an acrimonious though futile dispute and whilst it is unlikely that she will be victorious, the financial losses that she will incur will, when placed in context, will be trivial. For the average person, however, such losses would be nothing short of crippling. For this reason, we ‘ordinary people’ must do our utmost to remain level headed and objective when caught in the midst of a divorce.
This, though, is easier said than done. When we feel let down, deceived by an individual in whom we had placed our trust, the desire to seek revenge – irrespective of what others may claim – is not only understandable, it is to be expected. They are base wishes which, if given in to, will result in immediate losses in the short term and psychological damage long term.
All individuals that find it necessary to file for divorce are always best advised to sit down and discuss a settlement that will suit the needs of both parties. Both individuals should enter such discussions with the intention of being firm but fair and, above all else, remain dispassionate and practical.
Provided that an agreement can be reached then the couple will not only save thousands in legal fees, but will also find divorce to be a far less stressful.
The Divorce Blogger writes for Quickie Divorce , the UK’s leading divorce provider.