Are you thinking about divorce? Think again. Is it really worth it?
For anyone who thinks divorce is a free pass to freedom and a carefree, long and happy life, think again!
We won't even speak about the pain resulting when Divorce rears it's ugly head, issues present themselves that no one should have to contend with, issues such as:
Families taking sides, lining up and making comments or threats.
Friends that sometimes pull away when they are put in the position of taking sides and would rather not even to be “involved. " This is sometimes devastating in addition to the recent loss of being left alone and feeling totally unnecessary.
In defense of the “friend, " choosing between two friends can be a very difficult position in which to exist. Choosing to disappear from the scene, seems to be the only option.
SOME OF THE RESULTS OF THE DECISION TO DIVORCE:
The resulting pain, not withstanding, the home environments change. . .
A wife may have to return to work.
A husband may have been supporting the family before, but if he is the “leaver, " he may be forced to take a second job, in order to maintain a new place to live. (Unless the leaver is a fornicator and is planning to mooch off of their co-conspirator, then they deserve each other. )
Otherwise, the leaver will have to pay, at a minimum for:
- An additional home
- Utility bills
- Maybe an additional vehicle
- Possible childcare costs if he/she has custody when working
- Alimony may be a reality, also.
- And after the spoils are divided up, both will most likely, have half of what they owned before, that means the home entertainment system, the boat, the pool and whatever amenities are important to them.
- Savings will most likely be a non-issue.
- All of these issues can “break the bank. "
- Retirement dreams become a myth!
SOMETHING OF NOTE FOR WOMEN:
More and more today, if the woman is making a generous amount of money in her chosen position, and her spouse has primary custody, she, not the man, may be charged to pay child support. (The Women's Rights Movement has come to roost. )
Watch for article #2 on this subject.
For more tips and tools on how to survive divorce and loss and make healthy relationship choices you are invited to visit http://askpat.typepad.com
Patricia Hubbard has Facilitated a Support Group for Separated, Divorced and Widowed people for the past 12 years.