As a man, I think it is safe to say many people would agree we live in a male dominated world. Often times, non-gender specific items or things in conversations are referred to as his, he, man or men. Regardless of how you look at things or try to justify things, it seems men rule the world and the stereotypical ideas of men’ roles and women’s roles have long been ingrained in our psyche.
Divorce on the other hand is a different story.
In a divorce, women definitely have the upper hand. Men know it and women will not admit it but there can be no denying the statistics as it relates to child custody and men during divorce proceedings. Yes the courts are staring to change their rulings and judgments ever so slightly but the fact remains, courts still overwhelming still support the mother’s rights over the father.
Like the saying goes, “To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected. " The same case could be made for women in divorce. This is especially true for women who are mothers. If you are a mother and you are going through a divorce, you should remember you moral obligations to the man you once loved – especially for the sake of the children.
The courts overwhelming take sides with the mother. Much is given to mothers in the divorce courts and in my opinion, much should be expected of them as well.
Rather then proceed from a legal perspective; the best interests of the children would be better served if the women proceeded from a moral perspective. Assuming the father has not been mentally of physically abusive, all parties would be better served if they asked what was in the best interest of the children rather then asking what the court has decided.
If you are a father going through a divorce, you should prepare yourself for the consequences, especially if your ex-wife is bitter or has an axe to grind with you.
If you are a women going through a divorce, you should remember what is in the best interest of the children. It is easy for a woman to say, “the court said so, and therefore it must be right. " This is an easy way to justify your anger or resentment towards your former husband.
Like many things in life, the easy choice is not always best choice.
Women should remember you have the upper hand during a divorce. Getting back at your husband by withholding visitation rights is not a morally good choice. If the courts allow one week’s visitation in the month, offer two. If the courts grant spousal support and you can afford it, offer one month back to your husband to spend more quality time with the kids during summer vacation.
Regardless if you agree with specific points in this article or not, be kind and civil to the man you once loved and you and your children will be much better off in the long run.
Gary Kelly is co-creator of the online dating website for golfers, DateAGolfer.com and PuttingForPar.com , a golf website specializing in personalized ball markers.