Maybe you have seen signs of cracks in your relationship. Your boyfriend doesn't greet you with the old warmth that once set your heart on fire. He acts distant and doesn't always listen when you try to talk to him. He spends more time “out with the guys" than he spends out with you.
You may be asking yourself, “how can I get my boyfriend back?" before he has broken up with you, because you can see it coming and you want to patch things up before he becomes your ex. So, what are five things you can do to save your relationship before things reach a point of no return?
First, there are three things you definitely want to avoid doing:
Don't start calling him more frequently than you always have. Desperation is not attractive.
Don't try to get between him and his friends. Whatever may be going on with him (and you really don't know what the problem is this early on), his “guy" friends may be supporting him in ways you don't understand. You don't want to make him feel like he has to choose between you and them.
Don't let your concerns about your relationship derail other aspects of your own life. Go to work, or class, see your friends, do all the things that matter to you in your life. If you are centered and confident, your stability could be the anchor that will let the two of you work things out successfully.
Second, communicate openly with him. Let him know that you are concerned about your relationship. Tell him the things you see that concern you. You may discover that he is completely unaware that there are any problems. Or, you may discover that his distant behavior has nothing to do with you, but is caused by stress in his own life that he has difficulty discussing.
Maybe he is afraid of losing his job, or is afraid that he is stuck forever in a job that he hates. Sometimes his own feelings of frustration or inadequacy make it difficult for him to hold up his side of your relationship, and he just needs some time and space to work things out for himself.
Third, don't be confrontational. Use non-threatening language like “I feel hurt when . . . " or “it bothers me that . . . " instead of “it really pisses me off when . . . " or “I can't stand the way you . . . " If you are calm and open in your discussions with him, he will feel safe in opening up to you.
Fourth, pay attention to little things that will make a big difference to him. Take time to cook his favorite meal. Give his hand an extra squeeze as you part for work in the morning. Wear an outfit to dinner that he has complimented you on in the past, or buy a new, sexy outfit to get his attention.
Fifth, don't assume you have to work through everything on your own. Look to outside resources for help in repairing your relationship. You are not the first person to struggle with getting your boyfriend to stay with you, or to come back to you if your relationship has already reached that point.
You can restore that loving relationship before it is too late, or get your ex back if you do the right things. One of the best resources you will find anywhere to help you is The Magic of Making Up . Check it out now to see what you need to do next to keep your boyfriend or get your boyfriend to come back to you.