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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Daters


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All great daters share seven traits that ensure they're constantly successful in the dating world. Each of these traits is easy for anyone to develop, take minimal time to develop, and improve every aspect of one's life. . . and are missing from the social skill set of millions of singles. It's time that changed.

This powerful set of seven are all within your grasp. Just realizing how important these traits are in the dating world can dramatically improve one's success rate. Adding them all but ensures your social calendar will be filled. Each is discussed below and advises you how to master each terrific trait.

1. The smile

The quickest way to win singles over is with a smile. A smile shows them you're confident, positive, happy and non-threatening in less than a second. Those who don't smile simply aren't successful daters. Those who smile have instantly given themselves a better chance of meeting and attracting more singles.

Why is something as simple as a smile so powerful? It projects everything singles want in a partner (confidence, a positive outlook, passion, happiness, optimism, etc. ) Those who always wear their smile attract more attention because singles hope your energy and confidence will rub off on them.

Learn: To smile at every occasion. Make sure the first thing you put on every morning is your smile. Even those days when you find yourself struggling to keep positive, keep smiling and more often than not something will happen (an attractive single smiles back) that will give you reason to smile.

2. Confident body language

A person's body language - their posture, walk, and gestures - can create a powerful first impression. Having confident body language allows you to control how you are seen by other singles. If you stand, walk and gesture with a powerful grace, they're going to see you as powerful.

Singles who have confident body language move with an air of sexuality that shows other singles they're available, use eye contact, posture, body positioning, gestures and touch to indicate interest, and can escalate body language signals with other singles, allowing them to attract positive attention without saying a word.

Learn: To say all the right things without saying a single word. Perfect your posture: stand with your back straight, shoulders pulled back, chest out, chin up, stomach pulled in, hands at your sides and feet planted squarely on the floor. Let your body show off your confidence.

3. Comfortable in own skin

An effective dater knows who they are and doesn't try to be something else. One of the biggest singles people make is to try to be what they think other people want them to be, instead of being confident enough to themselves. One looks like you're trying to suck up, and the other oozes of confidence.

Those who are comfortable in their own skin aren't constantly seeking approval. They have their own opinions. They make up their own mind. They never try to pretend they're someone else. They understand singles want confident, quality people - not patsies or yes men/women - who won't offer a challenge or any excitement.

Learn: To be comfortable with who you are. No one likes a fake or someone who always says what they think everyone wants to here. Stand up and make sure everyone knows you're a real person - not just another pretty face.

4. Positive attitude

Singles can't help but be attracted to positive men and women. Positive people act like magnets. Wherever they're standing in a room, a crowd follows to bathe in their positive glow. The world can be a negative place, full of disappointment and failure. People are naturally attracted to positive people because they make us feel good about ourselves. They make us feel safe. They make us feel special.

Singles always look forward to meeting people who will give them positive re-enforcements. They feel stronger, sexier in the person's presence. Their ideas seem smarter. Life seems easier. For most singles, a man or woman wearing a big smile and projecting a positive outlook appears twice as attractive as one who doesn't.

Learn: To find the bright side of everything. Spend time discovering what makes each person special and tell them why that is. Tell stories that uplift the human spirit. Remind everyone around you what a great place the world can be and what an important part they play in it.

5. Conversationalist

Everyday conversations are used to exchange information. In the dating world, conversations are used to create connections. The conversation is a way for both of you to connect on a deeper level by finding shared passions and ideals. A great conversation skips the small talk and finds ways for both you and them to be fascinating.

To do this you have to have a genuine interest in the person and topic discussed. Then all you have to execute the five steps to a successful conversation; opening, passion, connection, comfort and close. You have to know how to walk the walk. . . and talk the talk. A great conversationalist does both with ease.

Learn: To take a genuine interest in everyone you talk with. If you take a real interest in your conversation partner, their passions, and what makes them special, you can have them eating out of the palm of your hand in no time.

6. Great listener

Strangely enough, it will be your listening skills, not your speaking ability, which will set you apart from other singles. Only by listening will you be able to come up with great questions. And great questions can allow you to learn more about someone in five minutes than their friends will in five years.

Everyone asks questions. But few people ask really good, well-thought-out questions. These questions force us to look deeper into ourselves. They can unearth information about ourselves we didn't even know was there. All great conversations are built by great questions.

Learn: How to listen. Most people make the mistake of trying to impress others by talking about how amazing they are. What really impresses other singles is those who allow them to showcase exactly why they're special. Remember, everyone's favorite topic is themselves. So keep your mouth closed and your ears open.

7. Lives an attractive life

Everyone loves those who live exciting and interesting lives. Doing so gives you a HUGE advantage over other singles. Lives full of adventure, passion, unpredictability, humor and excitement are lusted at by other singles who want a taste of that in their own life. A great dater lives a life that others wish they had.

You don't have to be musician, movie star or James Bond to live an interesting life. You have to have passions, embrace your passion and chase after them. And it doesn't have to be your job. It could be that you coach youth sports, build homes for the homeless, or simple as that you're learning how to surf or read to children in the hospital.

Learn: To chase your dreams. Singles chase after other singles that are confident enough to pursue their passions. It adds excitement and adventure to the relationship. . . a huge plus in a world of sameness. So pursue you dreams and help yourself land the dream girlfriend or boyfriend of your dreams.

For more great dating information go to

* Neal Talbot is the CEO of Attraction All-Stars Enterprises Ltd, creator of and author of the best-selling e-book All-Star Dating & Attraction (both men and women versions). He can be found answering questions in the forum of


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