Relationships take work. Most couples seriously underestimate the amount of effort required to sustain a happy relationship over a long period of time. This is why so many relationships and marriages fail to thrive. However, if you look deeper, there are certain truths that can be found in each situation. Here is a list of 5 relationship truths that you can apply in almost any situation that can help you learn how to make a failing relationship work.
Truth #1. Hope is at the center of every relationship
Even the very worst arguments usually begin with the intent of helping the relationship to the next level of happiness. We often forget to really listen to what our partner is trying to tell us. We hear the upset tone of voice and not much else gets through. If your partner is nagging you about something specific, try to see how the resolution of that conflict could lead to more satisfaction for both of you.
Truth #2. A single put-down will undo many hours of expressed affection.
It only takes one snotty, snide, or rude comment to erase hours, days or even weeks of expressed affection to your partner. If you must express something negative, it's extremely important that you control your anger, express yourself in a constructive manner and choose an appropriate time and place for the discussion. A rude comment in front of friends or relatives is likely to not only cause embarrassment, but also foster anger and resentment.
Truth #3. A small change in your attitude can have big changes in your relationship.
Most couples in failing relationships seem to think that if the other person would make certain changes, then everything would be perfect. The truth is that we can't control our partner, we can only adjust our own attitudes. Taking the time to work on our own attitude can often evoke powerful, positive changes in our partner.
Truth #4. Differences don't cause problems.
Couples often site incompatibility as the root cause of their problems, such as being a “night owl" versus being a “morning person". The truth is that it's not the differences that are causing the problem, but rather the way differences are addressed. The problem most often boils down to a lack of being able to accept the other person “as is". Happy couples are able to listen to each other and resolve differences through the art of compromise. Happy couples also know they can count on their partner to be a lover, good friend and head cheerleader rather than the judge, jury and executioner.
Truth #5. No Relationship Rules = failure to thrive as a couple
Most couples enter into a relationship without ever having discussed how to resolve any strong negative feelings that might arise. There are no rules that were agreed upon for resolving conflicts or disappointments. Without the rules and skills that provide the foundation of a happy relationship, couples resort to sniping and needling in a way that seriously damages the other person. Others try to resolve conflicts by changing partners when negative feelings arise. They are always searching for the perfect relationship that doesn't exist. If you don't learn how to resolve a conflict in a relationship, then conflicts will put an end to your relationship.
If your're tired of being miserable, then begin putting these relationship truths to work for you today. Although they won't solve every problem, they will go a long way to making you and your partner a much happier couple.
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