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Relationship Advice Learn to Pick and Choose Your Battles to Keep Your Relationship Together


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Being in a healthy romantic relationship means you can't always have everything you want exactly the way you want it.

Sounds pretty basic, right? Well, not for everyone. The inability to compromise is at the root of countless arguments. In fact, this tendency often costs people - whether married, dating or living together - their relationships.

If you recognize yourself in this scenario, then you need to do some serious thinking. Do you always want things your way, no matter what? Be honest with yourself. If your soul-searching uncovers any no-compromise areas, you need to ask yourself another question: Are any of these issues more important to you than your relationship?

And if the answer to that question is yes, do yourself and your loved one a huge favor - move on immediately. Don't waste any more time; neither yours nor your partner's.

If, however, you are not willing to end the relationship (or want to rebuild one that's already broken), you've got some work to do. Start by prioritizing your wants. Then you must learn your significant other's wants and prioritize them, too. Make sure your partner's wants are actually based on his or her desires (not on what you think or want his or her desires to be).

Using these guidelines will cut down on the frequency of your arguments:

1. If something is high on your loved one's list of wants and low on your list, then absolutely let them have it.

2. If something is low on your significant other's list but high on your list, then it should be yours.

3. If you or your partner have desires that would create conflict, then you need to decide together on a win-win solution.

Learning to be flexible has far more value than winning every confrontation with your partner. Go ahead, bend some times. It's far better than getting what you want all the time, unless you want to break up or to have your breakup escalate into a divorce.

Instead of fighting over every little thing, learn to pick and choose your battles with care. While this technique may seem simple, it actually takes discipline and maturity to accomplish. But it's well worth the effort if you want to keep breakups at bay. Or even get back with your ex.

Athena Rose is a lifestyle writer who specializes in relationships. To learn powerful proven techniques to cope with a breakup, she recommends The Magic of Making Up .


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