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Does My Ex Still Love Me?


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Girls, I know it's on your mind. After your boyfriend breaks up with you, it's a lonely time full of heartbreak and pain. . . and you can't help but feel like less of a person. It's okay to feel that way, it's completely natural. You're also probably wondering if he still has feelings for you, and if you can get him back. You may like what I have to tell you.

First off, it's entirely possible to still get him back. As long as you haven't gone into super-needy mode and left dozens of messages on his voicemail, you're probably still in the clear, or as much as you can be when you guys just broke up. A very large percent of couples have the capacity to get back together after a breakup, which has to do with my next point.

Feelings don't just disappear, not all of a sudden. Unless this breakup has been LONG in the works and his feelings have been slowly fading over a long period of time until he finally just ended it recently, the odds are high that he still loves you as much as he always has but is just so frustrated with the relationship that he can't see any other way of dealing with the problem. If the problems in the relationship were fixed and he were appealed to the proper way, you have a very good shot of rebuilding this relationship.

I emphasized “proper" because most people go about it all wrong, which is why so many more breakups are permanent than have to be. When a couple just breaks up, the person on the receiving end of the “we need to talk" usually panics and goes into that extremely needy state I mentioned earlier. You become desperate to prove your love and beg your ex to come back to you. . . and this couldn't be a worse idea. All it does is reinforce the breakup, and drives your ex further away.

You're not going to get him back if he feels like you're incapable of getting along without him. . . that kind of desperation isn't romantic, it's sad. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. Your goal right now should be to give your ex some space (about a month is recommended), and get on with your life. Go out with friends and not only will you start to feel better about yourself as you get some fun out of life, but if your ex gets wind of your seemingly not needing him in the slightest, a funny thing will happen. . .

He'll start getting interested again. He'll be thinking about you a lot, and wondering if maybe he made a mistake. In a way, clinging to him is somewhat satisfying for him, but not in a way that makes him want to take you back. Being completely ok with life whether he's in it or not (or appearing to be ok) kind of shakes him, and he starts to wonder if maybe he needs you. A lot of the time, just going out and having some good healthy fun results in the ex coming back to you, and even if that alone doesn't win the battle. . . there are other things you can do too.

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