Recently, a woman received the following text message from a guy she'd been dating exclusively for six months (the message is so long I'm surprised his thumbs didn't fall off):
"I love you with all my heart, but I am going to be busy with work and coaching football for a while. Also, I would like to start seeing other people. I love you. "
Okay, what did the recipient take away from this message?
-That the writer was too lazy or too much of a coward to have this conversation face-to-face?
-That he was breaking up with her and probably already seeing other people?
NO. SHE READ SOMETHING QUITE DIFFERENT INTO THE MESSAGE.
She read, “I love you with all my heart. "
And, you see, to her, that's all that matters. Already, she has defended him. She understands he's busy, she'll wait for him, she wants this relationship more than anything else in the world. Blah, blah, blah.
Instead of saying to herself, “Okay, this hurts. This really hurts, but if he loved me so much he'd make time for me and curtail his desire to see other women, " she's done exactly the opposite.
She showed up at the game he was coaching over the weekend. Somehow she thinks this will make him realize how much he doesn't want to be without her when it's actually doing something else:
It's making her look needy, unattractive, and sending him farther in the other direction.
Her best bet would be to let things lie. Let him go. Be open to the possibility that a guy who breaks up by text isn't such a great deal. A guy who opens a message with, “I love you with all my
heart" and closes it with “Also, I would like to start seeing other people" might be a serious clown.
Being rejected hurts. A lot of the time it doesn't matter even who's doing the rejecting. It still hurts. We all want to be liked. We all want to be loved.
But sometimes it's in our best interests to let ourselves be rejected. In the case of this woman, certainly, it will lead to much better men. Many a disastrous love life has been transformed once the sufferer discovered this principle.
After a woman stops accepting wishy-washy behavior from one man, very often an attractive, loving man, who communicates straightforwardly and not by text messaging, steps in to fill the void.
Terry MacDonald is the happily married author of “How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams. " Sign up for free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com - Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com