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Spice Up Relationships Advice For Maintaining Healthy Relationships

Leo L Ryan

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To spice up relationships ought to be on the agenda for everyone who is a couple, whether you are married or in a long term committed relationship.

Once you have been together for some time, it is too easy to drift along going through the daily routine of life. You struggle out of bed in the morning, barely acknowledging each other as you go through the sequence of actions you regularly follow in your fixed program each day.

With most people being caught up in this continuous tedious performance, the last thing on their minds is to think about how to spice up their relationships.

Relationships are vulnerable to becoming unsuspecting prey and end up victims of this monotonous procedure. Couples are likely to identify their stale relationship as the problem. They begin to look elsewhere, thinking this will bring about a difference in their humdrum lifestyle. Many pursue this course of action and have affairs, rather than even thinking about how they could spice up their relationships.

Naturally, this leads to widening gaps between couples, who are like strangers living together.

The outcome is they decide to separate. Their time together has been like living in a haze, or a state of mental obscurity or confusion, and they part in this bewildered trance like state. Rather than spice up their relationships, many become involved in other relationships as a solution to the sterile existence they experience.

Often they find themselves in the same old boring routines they went through in their previous relationship, and join the 2 out of 3 second marriages that end in divorce.

To spice up relationships requires couples to make that a priority. It is not going to occur spontaneously as we have already seen. Today's hectic lifestyle keeps this from happening.

Given that, it is crucial for couples to make time to be together. To talk to each other and really connect. To do this it is vitally important there is equality between the couple, otherwise this is not possible, as each person is not on the same level.

When couples are equal, ways to spice up relationships happens with ease. It happens in many ways. Acknowledging and respecting each other. Being authentic and honest at all times, recognizing the trust between you, knowing the opportunity for intimacy and openness is always there.

You meet each other's needs. You find ways to surprise and delight the other person. You make time to do things together, like going for a walk, to the movies, the theater or out for a meal.

Another important way to spice up relationships is to make sure you go away for breaks together. This can mean weekends, and regular longer breaks.

Having fun times with good friends is another aspect, as well as having your own individual friends you spend time with. It is also important for each person to have time to themselves and retain their own individuality, and not become dependent on each other.

It is very likely if more couples were to look at ways to spice up relationships, and realize how much they have got going for each other, this could make a great contribution to the overall success of relationships, and make a difference to the high divorce rate.

Leo has been a counselor for twenty years dealing with a range of issues with clients. During that time he has dealt with relationships primarily. He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on relationships to a broad cross section of people in the community, including other counselors, doctors, nurses, police, parliamentarians, church groups, to name a few. He has also been interviewed by all sectors of the media about aspects of his work. His website is


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