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Dealing With Break Up - Need Help?

Carrie Westengate

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Having trouble dealing with break up and looking for help, especially if you are still in love with your ex? The first thing you need to decide is if you want to try and win them back or get help to move on with your life.

When dealing with break up, if you decide to move on, the help you need will depend mainly on how bad the end of the relationship was. If it was highly emotionally and draining, then it is likely that you will need months to get over it enough to be able to move forward. T

Firstly, when coping with break up, you need to get your self-esteem back to a reasonable level. In other words, look after number one. OK, so you won't feel like going out much, but try and give yourself a time limit to sit and be miserable. Remember that when dealing with breakup, it might not be your fault even if you feel it is. It takes two. Stop wondering if it was something you had done or not done, it is unlikely it would have caused the breakup, but it could have been the catalyst that triggered it.

Ensure any help you get is primarily focused on looking after yourself, let your ex find their own way even if you do still have strong feelings for them. It just is not your responsibility any now.

You may find talking to a professional will help you get things into perspective, so do this as soon as possible. Remember, if you are feeling emotional you will also be particularly vulnerable, the sooner you start rebuilding your self-esteem the better.

Dealing with break up will require you to decide whether you want to try to get your ex back. If this is what you want, then you still need to rebuild your self-esteem and put yourself first. In addition, you need to develop a strategy so you are tough enough to try and make up with your ex.

When you have moved through the first hurtful stages of the breakup and feel more strong, this is the time to make an initial contact with your ex. Ask for a meeting somewhere completely neutral. At this meeting, try and remain calm, and try not to let your emotions get the better of you. Try and explain that you have had time to think and that you still care about them and would like another chance. Take the time to listen to your ex and hear their point of view, whether you agree or not, you do need to listen.

Don't try and force any decisions there and then, give them time to think and wait for them to contact you. Be honest with yourself, realise it could go either way. Just accept that if you decide to try, you will have given it your best shot and if it isn't to be, accept that fate has something else in store for you. Dealing with break up is no simple task, but remember that it may not be all your fault, a relationships takes two and both can be at fault.

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