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Loving Relationships-Love is a Committment Not A Choice

Gorry Terry

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To ensure a healty, happy, loving relationship it is important to recognise the difference between real love and passing, transitory feelings. .

Often times, enamored people describe themselves as being in love. But what does this mean? Some equate love with the tingles one feels when in their significant other’s presence. Others describe it as a longing to make another happy, at any cost necessary. Still others find it to be an undeniable attraction to another person. While these answers are all pleasant to hear, they are all based solely on emotions, unlike unconditional love. Real love is a decision, regardless of circumstances.

Emotions are a great feat of the electrical human computer called the brain. They can be pleasant or painful, and in either case they are based on, and allow us to cope with, our circumstances. The problem with the aforementioned definitions of love is that they are based on these feelings, which are based on circumstances. Many times, one loves another because of a pleasant feeling they get from their presence.

But what happens when two people in a relationship have a disagreement? Disagreements and disputes foster negative feelings, however temporary, that usually do not create the warm and fuzzy feeling of love. Basing love on positive feelings means that during times of disagreement, love is not present. This is not unconditional; it is no real love. Basing any kind of significant feeling or decision on any kind of emotion is foolish, because circumstances change.

Instead, real unconditional love takes a conscientious decision. One must decide that no matter what, they will commit to being honest, caring, and making the best of the relationship with the other. This includes through the good times and the bad.

It is important to note that bad times are inevitable, as humans naturally disagree with each other. Real lovers commit themselves to acting out of love regardless of circumstances. This way, the relationship is not threatened whenever a dispute arises. Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment.

If everyone would grasp the concept of love being a commitment instead of a feeling, many of the relationships would last longer. People would be committed to making the relationship work even when the warm feelings are not present, even when they are disappointed or hurt.

This concept applies to marital relationships, friendships, and even relationships between parents and children. This concept ensures that each person does what is best for the other person and for the relationship as a whole, no matter what. Make the decision to commit to loving, regardless of circumstances, today. Your relationships in the future will be stronger and last much longer.

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