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How Do I Save My Marriage?

Gorry Terry

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Some will say that the best way to save a marriage is to simply talk with your spouse and work out your differences; to straighten out the kinks that have formed over time. However, anyone in a failing marriage will say that this is easier said than done, and is more likely to get you wound up and frustrated than on the road to recovery.

It is definitely easier to let a marriage end than to try and save it so for your determination to save it . . I commend you.

If you're looking for help, you're acknowledging there's a problem, and making the conscious decision to try and fix it.

Recognition of a problem is the first step.

Although I have said that just talking with your spouse won't fix you marriage, it goes without saying that a marriage is built on trust and communication. There are many scenarios where the trust in one spouse has been lost, for whatever reason.

In these cases, talking it out is crucial. You need to know where the problem lies, where the differences in opinion arise. It's better to know what you're up against than to stumble in blindly to a very delicate situation.

Anger, frustration and confusion are all very normal, natural feelings to have when you feel that your trust has been lost, or when in fact it is you in which the trust has been lost.

It helps no-one to bottle up what we are feeling, as things get lost in translation and small problems or niggling worries turn into much more hassle.

Sometimes, this will be difficult. In every situation, there is a partner who feels let down, abandoned, used, whatever it may be, and communication is not as easily maintained.

At this stage, outside help is required, as this is obviously a much bigger problem than two irate, angry and hurt people can deal with objectively.

This is not a sign of weakness, it is a show of determination that you are in it for the long haul, that you really want to save your marriage. It's all about effort. For better or for worse. If you don't try, then you won't succeed.

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