A happy relationship will be hugely influenced by how each person expresses their love. But this is a very different task for both men and women. .
How does on know when they are loved? Is it demonstrated with gifts? Maybe public displays, like kissing or hugging, are signifiers. Love can be displayed in many ways, and these mannerisms can vary from person to person.
A key to remaining happy in a relationship is knowing how to express your love for someone, and also knowing how to recognize and appreciate when others are showing that they love you.
It is much like a language. There are different ways of expressing an idea.
It can be done verbally, through body language, through gifts, or other methods. Either way, the same message is being conveyed. It is important to be able to recognize the message, that of love, in each of these languages, and to appreciate it.
How are people socialized to express feelings? Watch any show on television, pick up any magazine, or read any book and you will see that there are set roles for man and woman. Within these roles are expectation on how they should behave, including how they should express emotion and love.
From childhood, men are socialized to be introverted, cold, and not very romantic. In the world of relationships, men express themselves less with words and public displays than women.
They may make smaller gestures that signify their love.
Women, on the other hand, are socialized from childhood to be more emotional and expressive, both in public and private. They are believed to be more moved by emotion and gestures like hugs and kisses. Both of these ways are effective, as people express themselves differently. There is not right or wrong way.
The problem comes in when either party fails to recognize that the other is expressing themselves in their own language.
A woman may become upset that her husband does not blow her kisses and send her flowers, when he feels he is expressing himself enough by sending her short and sweet text messages. Each person must attempt to recognize the good that the other person is doing, and appreciate what language they are doing it in.
Once a person learns to recognize the other’s language of love, they can fully appreciate it and even attempt to operate in it themselves. This is a type of compromise which is always good for a relationship. This type of compromise, both in action and in interpretation, can put a couple on the same page, and on a path to understanding and long success.