Dating can be fun and frightening. But if you set your standards at the outset you will have a much better chance of finging yourself in a mutually enriching relationship in 2010.
A coach for a high school basketball team decides to have try outs one day after school. He announces that he is looking for players, but does not list a skill level requirement, grade requirement, or requirements for previous play experience.
When tryouts finally come around, many aspirant basketballers come out. Some are dressed in basketball shorts, and others have no athletic wear on at all. Likewise, some can play well, and others can barely shoot. This coach had no standards for his team, and his expectations were nonexistent. As a result, his players had no talent, and the team's losing record surpassed his nonexistant expectations.
When entering the world of dating, it is important to know what your standards and expectations are. Otherwise, you will end up with many prospects with few qualities that you actually desire. You need to take time to think about what it is that you want, and what will make you happy. What characteristics are compatible with yours? What type of person will be good for your goals for your life? What do you not want? All of these questions should have clear cut answers.
Once you decide upon the characteristics you are looking for, set your standards high. Do not come down for anyone. Settling for anything lower than what you consider to be the best will only leave you disappointed in the end. There will be many chances for compromise later once you find a good relationship. Do not inconvenience yourself by compromising your standards before the person has proved his or her ability to meet your standards.
Once you have found someone that has some of your desired characteristics, you need to be up front with them about your standards. If you are looking to marry, let them know that. Do not let yourself become a “good company" person simply because you fail to open your mouth. It is better to end an unqualified relationship quickly than to waste time on one for the sake of not making the other person uncomfortable.
You may run into one hundred people who refuse to meet your standards before you find the one who does. This process may seem strenuous and frustrating, but once you find the one for you it will all have been worth it. You will know immediately that you are happy. The only person who deserves a turn at bat is the one who does what it takes to get on the team and step to the plate.
Keeping your standards high through the relationship helps in a number of ways. It ensures that the relationship is going in the direction of each person's goals, and it helps each person to grow. Having standards and goals to meet encourages the other person to develop into a better person. It is mutual edification. Standards and expectations are essential to any type of success in life. If you do not set the bar high, how else will you know how high to jump?