Just because you are an immigrant doesn't mean you're not human. The need to have a deep, meaningful relationship and companionship is within us all. Some of you will choose to satisfy that need by entering a great relationship with a person from another nation and/or culture and/or race. Here are 3 issues you should be aware of and how to handle each of them.
1) Cultural differences
These are sure to crop up at some point or another.
Whenever they do, deal with them there and then. Don't let molehills develop into mountains. Figure out some way to compromise on the situation or come to a mutual understanding. If the issue is a deep one, perhaps to do with religion or deeply held beliefs, immediately seek help through counselling or seeking mentorship or advice from your religious leaders. Ideally, you should seek out an older interracial couple to “take you under their wing" and tutor you and mentor you on how to navigate the waters you now tread.
2) Negativity from Friends
For a barrage of reasons the people closest to you may not approve of your mixed race relationship. Should it become clear that one of your friends has a problem with your relationship, then you should immediately make a decision as to whether or not, first of all to keep them as friends. This decision should depend on the depth and extent of your relationship. Should you decide to keep them as your friend, then never forget that your spouse is now your partner for life and your number one priority. Begin a process of educating your friend on how to accept your union. In addition to that, you should also begin the process of creating a warm relationship between your friend and spouse. Be prepared to mediate any disputes that may arise between the two.
3) Negativity from Family
Any negativity from family members should be treated in exactly the same way as an unwanted attitude from a good friend. You should begin the process of teaching your family to accept the Union and bridging the gap between your spouse and family. The only difference is you should treat these two processes as seriously as life and death. Family members have been the glue that have held marriages together from generations and you want this power on your side and not against you.
Whether it's counselling, mutual compromises, gifts and favourable treatment or mediation, whatever it takes ensure that your Union receives backing from your family.
Here's to a fulfilling relationship, regardless of your spouses background.
My name is Tony Chomba Mwangi Njanja, and I am an African immigrant who has lived in Australia for six years. You can read my story for free by clicking here
My website, the Displaced African, is dedicated to the happiness and peace of mind of African immigrants. You can learn more about maximizing the immigrant experience on the site
In addition to that, the site also has current commentary on the important issues of the day, such as with the article, the Empty Symbol that is Barrack Obama