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How To Tell If You Are In An Unhealthy Relationship

Mark A. Singh

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Relationships are part of us as our health and well-being. We all need relationships. A person who does not have a relationship with anyone, is lacking a very essential part of life. As humans, we have an innate need to interact with other humans. Yes you will hear some people say things like, “I would rather spend time with my pets. " And while you can have a relationship with a pet, it can never substitute for a human to human relationship.

There are various forms of relationships, such as those found in marriages, family, friendships, work, school, etc. There are appropriate relationships and there are inappropriate relationships. There are even abusive relationships, which are typical of more intimate unions, such as marriages. However today let us talk about a balanced relationship.

Here is the premise: There is someone in your life that is draining you emotionally.

A relationship needs to be healthy, which means that it cannot be off balance. A marriage that consists of grunts and yelling, that passes for communication, is not a healthy relationship. Having a friend who calls you every day to talk to you and who gets upset if you do not pay any attention to them, is not a healthy relationship.

You can tell whether you are in a balanced relationship or not by the way the other person makes you feel. Does being around that person bring you down or causes you to get frustrated? Then chances are, that person is draining you emotionally. Typically the frustration comes from trying to accommodate the other person. Perhaps it is a relative who is needy, and you are made to feel guilty about not accommodating them.

What to do?

Though it might be easier said than done, it comes down to these words: JUST SAY NO!

Obviously in marriages there would be a need for professional help and willingness on husband and wife to want to work through issues. However anything outside of intimate relationships can be solved by keeping in mind that you are in control of you. Think of your life as a planet with an atmosphere. Whatever you let into your atmosphere is dependent on you. Guilt is not healthy. If someone is tugging on you emotionally, then you have let them into your world and have thus surrendered some control of your world to them. The more you accommodate, the more control you yield.

Reclaim control of your world by the little two-letter word, NO. When you start to apply resistance to the persistence of the other person, you will find the relationship changing. Sadly, the relationship may tilt to the other extreme and dissolve completely. However, your well-being was on the line. You can go to the person and tell them that you still want a relationship with them, but here are the rules. If they truly love you, they would abide by your rules.

Copyright © 2008, Mark A. Singh. All rights reserved.

Mark A. Singh
Founder of Leading In Life


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