Soul mates. The very phrase conjures up images of happily-ever-after and someone to lean on when things get tough. And then…reality check. You find yourself sitting home watching Blind Date with a boxful of tissues because your supposed soul mate ditched you for that co-worker you just knew was putting the moves on your one and only.
No one likes to be in this situation, but it’s happened to the best of us. As they say, some things are meant to be, but were there some things that could have been preventable?
Here are six ways to lose your soul mate and how you can avoid every single one of them:
1. Become his mother
It was once believed that in order to keep a soul mate you had to show your soul mate that you could do everything for him his Mama used to do: cook those nice, big Sunday dinners, mend his shirts, and basically be at his beck and call whenever he was in dire need of guidance. Okay, a bit old-fashioned, but you’d be amazed how many women still do this. While it’s a great thing to show your mate how much you care by cooking him a pot roast dinner after a long day at work, it gets a little overbearing when it’s starting to look like he married his mother and not the vibrant, young woman he fell in love with. What women sometimes don’t realize is that the man doesn’t want to be married to his mother; he wants to be married to you. Be yourself and mesmerize him with your own talents. It’ll pay off in the long run.
2. Doubt his word when he gives you no reason to do so
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If you can’t trust your mate, you may as well hang it up. It’s not going to work. If you have doubts about his honesty, something is wrong. Unless you can work it out whatever is bothering you, the relationship will fail.
To learn how to trust is to learn how to take attention off of him or her and focus it on yourself. Do what makes you happy and before you know it, unless he or she gives you reasons to feel otherwise, everything will fall into place. If it still doesn’t, rethink the relationship and move on.
3. Play the silent treatment
One of the most important characteristics of the soul mate relationship is communication. If you can’t say what’s on your mind without your significant other going off the deep end, something is definitely wrong. Repressing your thoughts and opinions is stifling your self-growth as you know, so say what’s on your mind without bottling it up. Your soul mate will respect that and think more of you.
4. Rely on your soul mate to make you happy
I must have preached this a million times. No one can make you happy but yourself. If you have to have someone in your life or if you rely on your soul mate to provide the happiness that you can’t provide yourself, what is going to happen is that your soul mate is going to back off because the relationship is off balance. To create a happy and harmonious relationship with your soul mate, do things you love to do and became the person someone would want to love.
5. Crowd his/her space
Togetherness goes hand in hand for the soul mate relationship, but what happens when there’s no time for exploring one’s self? While we may or may not be aware of it, we’re creating an atmosphere of total consumption. Allow your mate to have interests outside of yours and you do the same. Before long, you’ll be creating a well-rounded and happy relationship that will last a lifetime.
6. Take the other one for granted
Finally, don’t let day-to-day routine become so monotonous that you forget the wonderful person you fell in love with. It’s easy to do because as time wears on, you both become comfortable with one another and it’s only natural you take their love for granted. While this stage in a relationship is gratifying, don’t forget the reason why your soul mate has come into your life and show him or her every day how thankful you are that they are in your life.
© Dorothy Thompson “The Soul Mate Queen”
Author, relationship coach and soul mate expert Dorothy Thompson is one of the nation's leading authorities on soul mates. Her book ROMANCING THE SOUL and e-books HOW TO FIND AND KEEP YOUR SOUL MATE and 101 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT SOUL MATES are three of the most comprehensive guides to explaining what soul mates are really all about. You can visit her website at http://www.soulmatequeen.com