Have you ever been aggressively hassled by other people while out in public, shopping, or at a concert? You study martial arts, to avoid getting picked on, but it's not enough. You seem to attract the jerks, even at peaceful concerts, where you are there to enjoy the music - not to fight. Have you ever angered other concertgoers without being aware of your actions? Can you fly under the radar and avoid annoying those around you?
Avoid Hassles By Observing Others
This past Friday, my wife, my daughter, and I went to a concert. We saw the Australian Pink Floyd play The Wall. (By the way, I highly recommend them to any Pink Floydians out there. )
There were some behaviors that I think if you knew about, might help you (and others) to attend events without having someone spoil the mood.
The best avoidance strategy involves a basic “Golden Rule" philosophy. This is the opposite of those who operate with an attitude of “do what you want now, and ask forgiveness later. " (They also may pretend innocence later. )
Our family operates under a more of a Golden Rule code of conduct that has worked very well, so far. In the long run, having this attitude will keep you safer, too. Let's use the Australian Floyd night as an example:
1. Before the show ever started there were people having drinks in the foyer. These people wandered with drinks in their hands. I saw drinks tip and splash on other people.
Some of these “loosened" concertgoers also bumped into others, unaware of their body bubble and invading other people's space.
2. Going into the concert hall, my friends formed their own line - it was like taking cuts with a big group. My buddy assured me that there were two ticket takers. Oops, when we got to the front, there was only one. (I was apologetic to the people to our left. )
3. In the theater, several people just had to move with the music. This was a formal hall where the symphony plays, and everyone stays seated. You rise for standing ovations,
but that's about it.
Still, some people just had to get up and flow, blocking the view of those behind and distracting those around.
Note: A better suggestion for not angering those close by would be to go to the back of the concert hall, to dance in the shadows, with nobody behind them.
4. There was a man with a cane who felt compelled to give them a standing ovation in the middle of several of the songs. He stood up in excitement . . . and the tip of the cane came awfully close to the head of the guy sitting in front of him . . . more than once.
5. While in front of the souvenir stand, a slightly drunk person bumped a child. The inebriated woman tried to apologize, but the child's mom got a hinky feeling from the extended contact with the woman. (I could tell that the mother was apprehensive. )
Do you see what all of these observations have in common?
All of these people had the potential to anger innocent bystanders. All of these behaviors were, in their own way, inconsiderate. A mother doesn't want a drunk person talking to her child, and concertgoers don't want a flipped-out, swaying woman freeform dancing next to, or in from of, them.
In each case, I could imagine a violent response to the action - all because they were unaware or just didn't care.
Note: Some people don't care whether or not they offend others. For example, on occasion, I have had to politely shush someone (finger to mouth, “shhh") in a movie theater. Sometimes, I get an “I am sorry" look. Other times, I get flipped off, ignored, or told to mind my own business. Some people are just rude.
The point of all of this is that I like to learn from my observations. In this case, a little introspection is in order. Are there times when I unknowingly annoy those around me? Are there some rules of etiquette that I could be following, in order to get along better with those around me?
Do you need to examine how you behave in public? At a concert? At a party? If you seemed to get hassled more than others, maybe you could examine your own behaviors. Are you making those around you uncomfortable? Are you compromising your safety in large crowds of people with your actions?
Take the free wrist locks mini course and learn to control people who try to hassle you: Mini Course . (You get a free ebooklet on grappling, when you join. )
Keith Pascal has taught martial arts for over 25 years. He left his job as a high school teacher in 2000, to become a full-time writer.
Keith is the author of several books, including Wrist Locks (Revised) Wrist Locks - From Protecting