Of the many thousands that have congratulated me for tossing my hat into the ring for the Presidency of these United States, several have asked be about my platform.
Actually, not one soul has congratulated me.
Not one has asked me about my platform.
I was just practicing bearing of false witness as practiced by more experienced politicians—just to see what it was like.
I didn’t like it so I won’t be able to use that political strategy in my campaign.
Although nobody else has an interest in my platform I decided to present it anyway.
I was wondering what it was or even if there was such a platform. I leave so many things undone. Why, just the other day my wife said, “John, you leave so many things undone. You just get started on something and then you walk away from it. That’s why you let those other guys get the Nobel Prize for ceramic superconductors with the high Tc. "
I did have an interest in ceramic superconductors with a high Tc when I was an engineering professor at Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa. I had the ability to grow special crystals. My object was to find a solid state physics graduate student in the Physics Department and have him determine the Tc and other important properties.
One student was interested but decided not to change his thesis project. Some years later I got a letter from him saying he wanted to do it after all, not as a graduate student but as a professor at a western university. He included in the letter copies of several papers I had asked him to read. At this same time a friend wanted me to help him design a superconductor railroad. I was too busy putting new ceramic dinnerware factories into operation. Read about superconductors at http://www.chemistryexplained.com/St-Te/Superconductors.html
Now you are going to say, “He was supposed to write his platform but he went off on a superconductivity tangent. "
Well, there is a relationship between what is called the Meissner effect and politicians. A magnetic field can not penetrate a superconductor so you can float a magnet on a superconductor. See the picture at the URL. That is what my railroad building friend wanted to do. The magnet floats around with no apparent means of support. Such is the case with politicians. There is no apparent substance or platform to support them. They just float around.
A platform is just a bunch of promises not kept. Here is my platform and I don’t suspect that any of them will come to pass. Let’s go anyway:
1. All wars will be fought by elected officials, their sons, their daughters, their nephews, their nieces, their grandkids, and if necessary their wives and great grandkids.
2. Executives of publicly held companies shall have no benefits other than those held by all other employees in the company. The top salary paid to an executive shall not exceed 20 times the hourly wage paid to the lowest paid employee. He or she will be paid for all hours worked except those hours worked in his or her domicile. So will all other employees.
3. Congress shall not meet for more than two weeks in any given year. There will be no restaurants, gyms, medical care units, or other such facilities operated for the soul benefit of the congress and its operations.
4. During a gasoline shortage, the government motor pools will be shut down until the gasoline supply is rejuvenated. Government employees will not be given a mileage allowance for driving their own vehicles. All military aircraft will be grounded and ships (except nuclear powered ones) will be required to pull into the nearest port.
5. Politicians will be able to hop military transports to foreign lands where they have business only if the military has scheduled the flight for an important reason other than carrying a politician. However, they will have to find their way home on their own hook. Politicians will be paid $5,000.00 a day for everyday they are out of the country and living on their own funds. A minimum stay of 365 continuous days will be required to collect this bonus subsidy.
6. No taxes of any kind will be collected from senior citizens over the age of 65 years. That includes federal, state, and local taxes including school taxes, etc. Folks over 65 will never pay for utilities or admission to movies or sporting events.
7. A free college education will be provided to every high school senior student (and some bright juniors) having a cumulative grade point average of “B" and who attended every day of school during his or senior (or her junior) year except the days he or she had the bird flu or an appendectomy, etc. This education will be paid for by Bill Gates and Warren Buffet through their foundations.
8. No congressman shall be elected for more than two terms of any length in the House, the Senate, or combination of the two.
9. The President shall not engage in any military activity whatsoever without the consent of 2/3rds of the Congress, both House and Senate, and 85% of the governors of the 50 states and its territories. The approval period shall be limited to 7 days during which period the approval must be confirmed by 90% of the people in the country being attacked. No military activity will take place until final approval is obtained. Exception: Since the United States is still officially at war with North Korea, no approval for actions against North Korea need be obtained but it would be polite for the President to do unto North Korea as they threaten to do unto us.
10. Lee Iacocca will be brought out of retirement to save General Motors before they abandon their retirement fund and drop that humongous burden on the United States. All assets of company executives will be commandeered for defunct pension funds before one cent is paid out by the federal government.
Well, that’s a start!
P. S. If the bird flu epidemic subsides, there will also be a chicken in every pot as promised by Herbert Hoover in 1928. However, there will be 3 cars in every garage. See http://www.presidentsusa.net/1928slogan.html
copyright©2006 John T. Jones, Ph. D.
John T. Jones, Ph. D. (firstname.lastname@example.org, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself “Taylor Jones, the hack writer. "
More info: http://www.tjbooks.com
Business web site: http://www.aaaflagpoles.com