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Change is a Process, Not a Word

Poran Poregbal
 


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The story of how our Iranian life changed forever back in 1979 is an old story. For many of us time has halted. Huge number of older Iranian had to leave a life behind back in 1980 and they have continued this almost one-way trip since then. Now passing the third decades of our sad story, we need a new fresh set of ideas. We need to be able to leave the past and live for today.

We as Iranian, as individuals and families with various cultural groups, we have been unfortunate to experience this huge amount of events all at once. We are dealing with oppression, sexism, human right issues, war treats, torture and jail if we speak up, suppression, subjugation, and hatred. Those of us who have sought freedom out of Iran, we have never really been able to set our minds free. We suffer everyday by the news about how life has become complicated more than ever. Our life outside Iran is being impacted by the hardships of life back home. Who does not talk about the expensive life back home, the story of financial crisis showing by the price of food, and low wages that are not matching with the real costs of life?

We have suffered just by the knowledge of how a system of anti-happiness in Iran never gives up. This is a well known name for the unfortunate situation we are forced to, an anti-happiness group of people who are governing our home country who are trying badly to make us addicted to sadness, to depression, and to madness.

Our Iranian culture is ailing because some anti-life people in Iran believe they will be able to make our average Iranians against the culturally affiliated concept of happiness.

Our Iranian culture has always been associated with love for laughter, joy, parties, dance, music, songs, picnics, cultural celebrations, outdoor activities, sport, and happiness. Our men and women are now separated; they are living in various worlds, one way or another. Our children are confused, in homes they have a more secular life than outside, and they have to pretend things are all right in order to survive, while we work hard to adjust ourselves to various cultures.

Every one of us knows about the lack of congruency in our lives. We are in pain, we shall admit that. Our Iranian culture is in pain and it has never been more in need of a real cure than today. Our younger generations today are seeking answers and they are tired of this antagonistic way of handling our home country.

This old story of pain is presented today by our young rappers back home who create their own rap-music in hidden place and still they manage to voice their minds with help of the internet. If you listen to these young rappers, they ask for being left alone, away from all the lunch buffets with religion as main dish.

We cannot let go of what is going on because we are all responsible; yet, no one can envision any change. Not at least in the picture of another glamorous revolution or another senseless war. Our physical, mental, spiritual, and psychological health is in big jeopardy. We need change and we do not know how to create change. Change is a process that has to be contextualized. We are already in this process, we have to only admit it and learn from it.

Change has to come from within and each one of us has to change if we wish anything changed at all. Change comes when each one of us can humbly communicate about our commonalities and differences. We need to shift our thoughts toward health, constructive critique, healthy discussion, and I guess this depends on how much we care for Iran, for our culture, and for us.

Poran Poregbal Vancouver, B. C July 24, 2008

My name is Poran. My main interest is mental health and healthy relationships. I mostly write about how to explore mental health as a main tool for achieving peace within our families and our communities. I want to promote assertiveness, happiness, multicultural counseling and a healthy language in our daily life. I write about our Iranian understanding of mental health and I intend to add the cultural values to the concepts of psychology as a science that we need to understand. Individual Psychology of Adler is a good fit for our Iranians. I try to use the concepts of common sense, encouragement and social interest to search for a proper and tailored cultural psychology. I like to emphasize on helping our young and next generations to integrate within whatever cultures they live in. Simplifying psychology and managing a cultural sensitive practice is my main professional goal.

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