Almost everybody feels shy at times. Shyness is a common and normal human condition.
For some people, shyness can be a much greater problem than for others. When a person suffers from severe shyness, it can lead to a life of loneliness and missed opportunities.
Severe shyness is a problem I’ve struggled with all my life, and I’ve always been looking for ways to deal with it. One thing I’ve discovered is that many of the ways I used to deal with shyness actually made the problem worse!
For example, I often avoided social situations because I would get so anxious around other people that I would have a panic attack. I would leave parties after being there for only fifteen minutes. I thought that by leaving early, I was doing myself a favor.
Now I know that running away when I felt anxious was the wrong thing to do. I might have gotten over my shyness many years earlier if I had known that staying in the social situations was the wiser choice for me.
People who are extremely shy have a nervous system that always seems to be on “high alert”. They easily feel overwhelmed and anxious with new people and new situations.
Many people who are shy or who fear rejection try to avoid being in social situations as much as possible. They may turn down invitations to parties and other social events. They might cross the street in order to avoid running into someone they know. T hey often cut conversations short, and may even turn down promotions at work.
Unfortunately, even though avoiding social situations might seem like the perfect short term solution to avoid the anxiety of being around other people, running away is a big mistake! Avoiding social situations will actually make your problem get worse. When you keep running away from being in social situations, you make your fear stronger than your courage, and even stronger than your desire for friends.
By running away from social situations, you lose out on the opportunity to become used to being around people. You lose out on a chance to practice your social skills. And you lose out on many wonderful friendships and relationships you might have had!
If you actually confront the situations in which you feel anxious, it’s quite possible that your anxiety will lessen as you become more used to dealing with the feared event. Facing your fears takes commitment and courage, but the results will be worth it.
This article is by Royane Real. Do you want to learn more ways to overcome shyness and learn how to make more friends and have a better social life? Download Royane’s book called Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends at http://www.royanereal.com