You can walk the finest beaches of your town or your city, you can go deep into the forest and find a waterfall and find peace and comfort, you can climb the greatest mountain in time to see the sun rise over it or to set, you can rise to the very top of your corporation and become the CEO but if you don’t have someone to share it with, that special someone, things just aren’t as good as they could or should be. Let me tell you about my experiences and the journey to my soulmate.
Tonight I saw a famous evangelist in Christian circles called Nick Cruz. At 18 years of age he was the leader of a ruthless gang in New York City used to violence and murder among gangs and he had an encounter with God and become a Christian through the influence of one skinny preacher. Now for forty five years he has been sharing his story and every time he does people flock to accept Jesus.
Since I was 12 years of age all I have ever wanted to do was be a preacher that does that job, which goes from city to city, sharing my story and my story convincing people there is a God. At 14 I was molested and that set me on a course of self destruction and a very painful rejected, guilt ridden and sorry sort of life.
It’s only in the last 2 years I have gone back to church. And now my story is starting to come together.
I have stood on a mountain top and asked Jesus why my wife left me. He told me as a clear thought in my mind as a voice, “I want to be the most important person in your life. "
14 years ago I developed a mental illness called schizo effective disorder, which is both Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia . This has taken a heavy toll on my life and caused me much suffering and has opened me up to hearing from other spirits that pretend to be Jesus.
Tonight as I watched my future a future God has promised me, I was reflecting on the bus on the way home and chatting to Jesus. There is a certain prayer that I can pray to make sure the voice I am hearing is Jesus but I was so happy that I hadn’t taken that precaution and I was chatting about Nicky Cruz and the way he spoke and shared his story and my future. I was coming to a stop and felt like chatting to a real person and not just a voice in my head and Jesus said okay I will bring you a nice person to chat to. I suddenly got nervous as if that person didn’t come I was talking to a wrong spirit again that was lying to me. But I need not have worried as a sweet girl sat down and we chatted for twenty minutes.
Jesus really blessed me by arranging the bus to be full and the seat next to me vacant and allowing the girl to be so happy to chat. I used to drive taxis for six years and so I am used to talking to strangers and keeping a conversation going by asking questions and we had a fine time. After she got out another man got on and we chatted for a while and then I went back to chatting to Jesus.
In the past year Jesus has become my closet friend. He is more then a soulmate and He does not speak out of weakness. He has so much patience and understanding and when he shares what He thinks with you it blows your mind. You can literally speak to Him about anything and if you can understand His answers you could ask Him anything.
He has said some truly wonderful things to me and brought some absolutely wonderful strangers into my presence to speak to. He has a way of bringing a really interesting person to sit right next to me in every single coffee shop I go to unless I have a book and I want to read. He gives me insight into people’s lives that I am speaking to and tells me things to tell them and this strikes a very deep chord with strangers when you have been able to dig up a deep need that they have and they have been able to get something off their chest.
I have been on a mountaintop and Jesus has come down to earth and stood with me and talked to me appearing like a ghost that I can see. When He appears I can tell the robe he is wearing or what He is wearing and can see the colors and everything. I have walked a beach with Jesus walking with me, I have laid in bed and had him sit on the corner of my bed. I have even preached and He has sat and listened in the audience.
He does not ask for my money, but it is such a joy to invest money in things that He wants me to do, like self publish a book of my articles so that people can read them in book form and not stay for hours in front of a computer. He gives me money and has me share it by buying a coffee for a poor person or shouting a meal to a poorer person then me.
He is not on a power trip. He is not into guilt trips or mind games. He isn’t in competition with me and only ever wants my good. He does not fight with me, but helps me fight temptation and things that are not good to me. He coaches me like a real coach that has not only played the game of life, but has 2000 years experience with the plays of the enemy. He knows what is best for me and He directs my steps each day and tells me what to do each day, if you believe it He even inspires me what to write through His Spirit called the Holy Spirit.
He is so good to me. He has none of the drawbacks of a normal relationship. Sure you have to give up things to serve Him and He promised the road with Him is narrow and hard to walk but He has promised that is most rewarding walking with Him.
It says in the book of Hosea chapter nine that in dark days like they are today that a man that hears from God and is inspired will be called insane or a maniac, and the prophet a fool. Well Bipolar as called Manic depressive disorder and a manic depressive that is off his medication or up too long can become what society calls a maniac.
So some of my best inspiration comes with a day of sleep missing and doctors call that unhealthy. As a person that says I can hear from God and bring to a person a message from God or a group of people a message from God, I can sometimes labeled a fool. Well thousands of years ago another prophet Hosea knew that and wrote Gods prediction of the predicament I would find myself in.
You too can know Jesus.
I invite you to write to me via my web site.
To accept Jesus into your life and to become a Christian is only a first step but if you want to meet my friend Jesus you can simply pray this prayer with faith.
I recognize that I have done wrong in my life. The Bible says that you were tempted in every way but you never did anything that was a sin. Jesus I ask you to forgive me for the sins, the bad things that I have done. Like Matthew I want you to be my friend and from this day on I want to walk with you and have your control my life. I am prepared for a hard journey and am willing to walk that journey with you that one day you might speak to me as clear as you speak to Matthew.
In your name Jesus I ask your Father to grant this request. Amen
If you have prayed this prayer or if this article has challenged you please feel free to write to me. If you want to discuss what I have said in this article, print it out and take it to a Christian you know prays for you and ask them to help you come into a relationship with Jesus.
God bless you
May you find a human soul mate also!
Matthew shares his heart in these articles and can be found at http://www.online-prayer.net You can read more of his articles at his link below.
If you want a copy of his upcoming book of articles which will have the first sixty of the articles on this web-site called “The Musings of a Mad Prophet" please contact Matthew via email so he can contact you around February 2007 to tell you of the progress of the book.