Early on men lusted and took their women. There was love also of course between some couples as we were born to love.
Having a harem was considered a luxury for the rich. Multiple wives were also common in some areas, not too many years ago. The thing was, the women did not seem to object. Most seemed to like the arrangement. Now how do you address that and bring love into the issue?
Firstly let's explore love. Everyone does know when they are in love. Well, what about the fellow who is in love and then he meets another girl and now he is crazy in love with a new woman. What was the first love? How about a happy couple in love until the woman finds Mr. Right where she works. What is her husband, now, chopped liver? Pretty much.
Then there is the Mr. Right who is in lust and Mrs. No No who says Yes Yes because she is crazy in love, with a new Mr. Right. Or is she crazy in lust? Women don't lust like that do they?
Do you mean to tell me a great husband shows his wife the joy of sex, perhaps tempering his own lust to bring her to new heights, then she learns the meaning of lust and lusts for another? Many movies are made with that scenario. Certainly it happens. Are you saying love wears down? Afraid so.
OK, here is the deal. You meet this person along the way and exchange more than one look. He catches you looking and you catch him looking. Whatever the case a hand shake or a touch seems a bit warmer than normal. That is your mind giving you thoughts that magnify. It could be so good that you fantasize or keep him in mind all day. Consciously or subconsciously you find a pathway to see him again. Now your mind really lets you catch fire. He sees that in you and he makes a tiny move.
Before long you are together and you cannot let go. He is a magnet so strong you are drawn to him without control. Almost every waking thought is about him. You yearn for his presence. You put off your friends. You read love poems. You look at gifts. He is pleasant to another woman and you are jealous. Too pleasant and you are hurt.
Are you in love? If you are a virgin the odds are you really are in love. If you enjoy sex to the max, then you need to look closer, as it may be you are in lust, but you cannot admit that to yourself. Maybe you are concerned about your lusty nature and tell yourself you won't have sex for lust, just for love.
What about him? The odds are he lusted right away. That is usually how men operate. If he has not yet had sex with you he comes on stronger, playing Mr. Right. Is he trustworthy or is he leading you on for sex? No man does not want sex with a woman he likes even if he is not in love. So that is a tough call. Would he lie for sex? Probably.
Here is where the woman needs to pause and come back to reality. There have been many a marriage based on good sex, and unravel later. Usually after the first child. Then she has to pay dearly and he has to pay dearly and now you have a child who must pay also. This is one great argument in favor of sex after marriage.
One test is to see how he acts after he has had sex with you. Do his interests change? Right after sex is he attentive and wants to hold you and soak up the moment, or does he pile out of bed to go to the bathroom and then go get a beer or whatever?
The next thing is he is off for work or golf or other pursuits, until Little Bill starts giving Big Bill the need for sex again. After marriage this is more typical of men than before marriage. He will cling before marriage, but if not really in love he won't cling too tight.
Keep your eyes open and give your female instinct the right to speak to your mind. Usually women block out such things as they really don't want to know. They do not want to lose this guy.
For the guy he has to be careful of clinging women. A clinging woman is sure trouble. If you suddenly find your friends are making jokes, “Her comes Sally, goodbye Bill". If it is just you and she all the time and you never see the boy's anymore, just wait until after marriage. She won't share. She must go along or pout. Look out. There is a bad moon arising.
Come back next week and we will dig into this phenomenon further.
Don Jones is one of our Platinum Authors who often raises the issues of love vs. lust. He believes *** is bad and the well informed is good. He says you can be well informed without being gross or downright sick. He says, “The male lust thing is so strong in some men they make all men look bad. Child molesters are not tolerated even by the worst men in prison. Rapist are about the same. Learning about sex the proper way is the way to go. Visit his website, http://www.LoveComes.com Also he would like you to visit his unique shopping center. http://www.FreeAndCheapStore.com