Great relationships result when two people come together and have no hidden agenda, no unresolved emotional baggage, and who are truly committed to having real love in their lives. It has been said before that all of us, in every way, and all all times, are getting exactly what we are committed to getting. So, if your relationships never seem to work out, you remain in unhealthy relationships far longer than you should, and you never feel like the people in your life are treating you as you deserve, start paying attention to what you may be doing to sabotage your relationships and ultimately your own happiness.
Sure fire ways to sabotage your relationships:
Expect that the next person you date will be no different than the rest and this too will end in heartache.
Do not tell anyone about the person you are seeing because you are afraid that as soon as you talk about it, he will leave you like the last person.
Test the person. Create some scenario where he will have to prove his love to you in an unreasonable way. When he is unable to do so, say to your friend at lunch the next day, “I told you he did not love me".
Just when things are going great and you had one of the best vacations of your life with this person, come home and do something to create a distance between you, such as talking about an old boyfriend or comparing this trip to one you took with your ex.
Create a list of expectations your future partner must meet that no human on this planet could reasonably live up to. When he fails to do it, confirm to yourself that you will never find Mr. Right.
When it feels like the person is opening up to you and you are feeling as though you are becoming closer, pick a fight.
Choose partners who are emotionally unavailable.
Assume that you are not worthy of true love. As soon as someone begins to show genuine interest in you, assume that there must be something wrong with him for liking you.
If you are having trouble and are unable to see why several of your relationships have ended, ask yourself what you may be contributing to it. Many of the things that people do to sabotage their relationships come from things they learned at a young age or are a result of lessons learned from past relationships. You are not destined to repeat these patters but until you recognize what you are doing, you won't be able to change it and you will never be able to remain in a healthy and committed relationship.
Allow yourself to be happy, assume with every fiber of your being that you deserve true love, and catch yourself when you are falling into old patters. You will receive exactly what you commit to receiving.
Melani Ward is a successful career and life coach and entrepreneur. She coaches people on career discovery and development, resume and interviewing strategies, relationships and achieving work and life balance. She is the founder of Mountain High Career Coaching and Relationships on the Rise. To read more tips like the ones in this article go to http://www.mhcareercoaching.com or http://coachmelani.typepad.com If you would like to ask Melani a question, visit her blog at http://askmelani.blogspot.com