Men and women have always lived in what filmmaker Neil LaBute likes to call “an uneasy alliance. ” Infidelity strikes at the core of our being and personal dignity. Distrust therefore can be a battle we at times have to deal with in any relationship before we wear ourselves out emotionally and eventually begin to simply trust the person we’re with or remove them from our lives altogether.
Historically distrust has always been a bug eating at the human soul. Othello smothered Desdemona because he thought she cheated on him; Hercules killed his wife in a fit of madness (claiming the gods made him do it); and in The Arabian Nights, the Great Sultan, believing all women are wicked, married a fresh wife each night and had her strangled the following morning. Indeed there is nothing new under the sun as it pertains to human distrust in relationships.
Trust requires that we be vulnerable and transparent with people. That is more easily said than done because all of us fear rejection at some level by someone. The key to hurdling that barrier however is to purpose in your own heart that if you get burned, you get better. If you get ditched, you get more discernment. If you get broken, you get a breakthrough! If you get hurt, God can heal your heart and help you up again! No guts, no glory!
Sadly some who have been hurt take their pain into their new relationships and thereby perpetuate and complicate their emotional lives holding their newfound love beneath their microscopic scrutiny until they prove out. That is they hold them guilty until proven innocent based upon the actions of others who have wronged them. It is far better however to start afresh and not hold people hostage emotionally because of your personal unfinished business. Forgive and let live!
To not be vulnerable, relatable and real is to risk never connecting on a deep level with people. It is far worse to be unable to connect with people than to connect with and be cut off by people. Connect and don’t fear those who reject. When people remove themselves from you, consider it their loss and happily move on.
Consider it a blessing in disguise as those not desirous and incapable of committing to a meaningful relationship are moving out of your life. Don’t prolong and perpetuate the pain over the long-term. Get your end-game going girl where need be and move out the zero in preparation for your hero. Before you can have a new beginning, you first must have an old ending. Therefore don’t hold on to relationships too tightly where there is not a mutuality and equality of desire.
On the other hand once you find a man worth committing too, refuse to allow distrust and jealousy to impede your relational growth and progress. Don't let distrust cause you to rust and reject meaningful relationships. Trust and thrust yourself forth to new levels relationally!
Here are some rules to get rid of distrust and its crippling effects.
1. I readily trust everyone until they prove to me that they cannot be trusted.
2. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and consider them innocent before guilty.
3. I have decided to err on the side of mercy and grace rather than judgment and criticism.
4. When I show hope and faith in humanity they most often meet my expectations and bless me.
5. Trust empowers people around me and makes them want to help me.
Don’t be damned by distrust. Forget the past and lift up your head! The sun always shines above the clouds. Celebrate you today and things will begin to go your way!
Paul Davis is author of several books including Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; and Breakthrough for a Broken Heart a book telling us “How to overcome disappointments and blossom into your dreams!" He is a minister, life coach (relational & professional), dating expert, popular worldwide keynote speaker, creative consultant, mediator, liberator and dream-maker.
Paul's compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has also brought revival to many in war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His nonprofit organization Dream-Maker Ministries is building dreams and breaking limitations.
Paul's Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.
Paul can be contacted at: RevivingNations@yahoo.com - 407-967-7553 or 407-282-1745.
For additional info: http://www.CreativeCommunications.TV , http://www.DreamMakerMinistries.com