"I'm a human being all the time, even when I sleep. But I'm not a musician when I sleep, and I'm not a musician when I eat, unless I'm paying attention to music or talking about music. " ~ Herbie Hancock
We need to understand that, unlike us, a man is a sum of his parts; it is the components that make the whole. By that I mean that, all the various parts of his life can be split off from each other, just like a book shelf: work in one shelf, relationships in another shelf, barbecuing in another shelf, sports in a fourth shelf, parenting in another, and so on. That means that depending on what activity he is involved in, he will not pay attention to us. We must remember this or we will suffer.
I was once in this frame, absolutely in love with this man. Like me, he was a professor and one day, I entered in one of his classes, hoping he would pay attention to me, or send me looks of love, or say something. . . what was I thinking? Well, when the surprise of seeing me wore off “took him 5 seconds" he continued his lesson as usual, ignoring me entirely, as if I was not even there.
I felt really bad thinking that he was angry at me and asking what had I done to deserve such treatment, and so and so forth. Stupid me; he was just being himself. And guess what? I followed him to his office so we could have a moment to ourselves and to my surprise, he kept working as he’s always done, ignoring interference. You see, he was wearing his professor hat and not his lover hat and I failed to appreciate it. How many women do the same?
I have seen too many examples of women not understanding that a man reacts differently according to each situation he is in. To avoid feeling ignored, let’s leave him to his activity until he is ready to pay attention to us.
A Word of Advice Ladies: Wait until he is wearing his lover’s hat to demand attention and tenderness; otherwise, you will be very disappointed through no fault of his.
Gents: When she complains of lack of attention, remind her that you will be happy to lavish her later, when the time is appropriate to do so.
© Maria Moratto 2006
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Dr. Maria Moratto is the author of “The Inspired Healing For Your Body, Mind, and Soul, " “The Inspired Healing Journal: Mending Your Broken Heart, " and “Attract Money Journal. " Visit her site to get fr*ee affirmation cards.
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