In the year 2006. . . young is IN. . . and looking young is IN too! Everybody's into looking young these days! No old people need apply!
Ever wondered why there are no more Gray Panthers like there were in the 1960's? Because, of the 200 million adults in this country, there is not a single gray head to be found! Sorry to say, but the Gray Panther organization has had a melt-down! Believe me! The Census Bureau took a survey and asked the question: “Do you have any gray-headed people in your household? The answer to the survey was 100%. . . NO! There are NO people with gray hair in this country, and you can take that to the bank! Surveys don't lie!
Today, a person who finds one dreaded gray hair. . . goes out and buys a 55 gallon drum of hair dye, and jumps in it! “Honey, will you get me a towel. . . I just dyed my hair, dear, and can you please help me get out of this barrel while you're at it?" Today, people are throwing plastic all over their faces so they can look young! They look more like a mannequin in a store window than a human being. They're tucking in everything where the sun don't shine, too! An 85 year old wants to look 35 again. . . and a 45 year old wants to look 11 again!
There are four categories of age in America. They are: 1) the young; 2) middle-aged; 3) the old; and 4) my, but you're sure looking good these days! But, does life really begin at 40? Take it from me. . . I've been there, and you know when you're getting old when:
* A fortune teller offers to read your face. . . rather than the lines in your hand!
* You sink your teeth into a steak. . . and it stays there!
* Dialing long distance. . . wears you out!
* Your back goes out. . . more than you do!
* Your little black book contains only names ending with M. D.
* Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt. . . doesn't work!
* Your knees buckle. . . but your belt won't!
* You feel like the morning after. . . but you haven't been anywhere!
* The best part of your day, is when the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
* You look forward to another dull evening. . . so, what else is new?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. . . age is just a number! Tell that to a 97 year old! None of us can ever be young again! You can't make a race horse out of a donkey, either!
A few months ago, I saw an interview on television with three of the writers of the popular M. A. S. H. series of the 1970's. For all the young people out there (who I despise), the show was quite popular for over its ten year run. Anyway, the interview was about discrimination against older workers or writers, etc. And, all three writers said they would not put down on their resumes, that they were a writer on M. A. S. H. , because in doing so. . . would age them! Well, gee wiz. . .
In the year 2006, these writers are all approaching the 60 mark. Do you really think they can hide that fact? If I were a writer on M. A. S. H. or any other series, I would flip-off these bigots and do something else! People are going to find out how old a person is anyway! Why hide it? Do you think these three writers are going to look 22 again?
When it comes to age, there's no turning back the clock! Creams; powders; magic dust; dye; plastic; tucking in everything; face-lift. . . more magic dust! I think the only way a person can look fit and even younger is to take care of himself or herself. I've seen people spend a lot of their life smoking, drinking and druggin, and then go to the gym to work out to look YOUNGER! I think there's a name for that! In closing, let me make it crystal clear. . . if you're under 60 years of age. . . I hate and despise you!
email; firstname.lastname@example.org Website; humordoctormd Over 200 colorful pages; over 500 graphics http://humordoctormd.homestead.com Copyright; Jerry Aragon; 2006